Should My Child Have A Phone?

It’s that time of the year again where many parents are asking whether their child should have a phone or not. It needs to be clear that this question falls in the realm of Romans 14 and Christian freedom. My job is not to make your decision. My job is to help you think through certain questions and facts to help you come to your own decision.

I have my own personal opinions but, let’s be honest, I’m sure that by the time I have teenagers that my opinions might change. Also, who knows what the newest technology will be in 15 years? The point of this is to help you think about what a phone does, how necessary is a phone for you child, and what can be accessed through a phone. I will offer some wisdom based on what I have seen other parents do well in and what I have seen that doesn’t work very well. In all this, I am speaking from experience of looking at our own students from close up for 5 years, from looking at another church’s students for 2 years (the church I was at before coming to POPC), and from hearing countless accounts from other youth workers across the country. This is also taking into account the rising stats in youth culture from books such as Jean Twenge’s seminal work iGen. For another helpful article by Jean Twenge, check out “Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?”

The question is not: Are phones bad or good? We also shouldn’t be going to the extreme and never letting them get acquainted with a cell phone. Sooner or later, they will and they need to know how to rule over it (Gen. 1:28). It’s not about saying no to everything in the world. It’s about showing them how to tame the things in the world through a gospel-centered worldview. If we are going to help prepare our kids for college, where they will have complete access to everything, then we need to think wisely about how we prepare them for the use of technology.

Ask Yourself…

1. Is this the right time for my particular child?
   Don’t look at what other kids are doing. Think about your particular child in their particular situation. Your child will certainly give you the “but so-and-so has a phone” speech. Matter of fact, they will most certainly hound you with that speech. You need to hold strong and ask if this is the right time for your child (not what others are doing). You need to ask if this is the right time for this particular child of yours. Are they ready?

2. What kind of phone should they start out with?
   Learning to use a phone is like learning how to build and maintain a fire. It wouldn’t be wise to hand your child a can of gasoline when they’re first learning how to build a fire. Sin is worse than a physical fire and it burns much worse. Kids are getting burned by sin coming by the use of cell phones constantly. It might be wise to start them out slow. Make them earn your trust. Maybe start them out with a “dumb phone”. Maybe start them out with an iPod that can text on Wifi. Figure out what works for you and your family. Plus, it might not be most wise to break the bank buying the latest smartphone. What kind of precedent with that show your child? Speaking from experience, I have seen many students (at several different churches, including ours) fall into grievous sin because their first phone was a smartphone that had no restrictions on it. These kids are not those who grow up in godless homes. They are the kids who have godly parents and care about their children. All kids are totally depraved. Anyone is capable of any sin, including those in godly homes. It is very sad to see students who have hardened their hearts and draw away from the church because of the sin that they indulge in via their cell phones.

3. What restrictions should they have on their phone?
   One night at a session meeting, I was giving a presentation on youth culture to the elders. One elder asked me about phones and what restrictions worked. Another elder then asked, “Should my child have a dumb phone at first?” I decided to answer by giving a visual example.
   In front of the whole session, I opened up my phone for them all to see. I showed them that I didn’t have any Web Browser on my phone. I didn’t have Safari, Google Chrome, or even Covenant Eyes. I didn’t even have access to the App Store to download one of those apps. There is not a single app on my phone that will take you to a Web Browser. So, it seemed.
   I opened up a harmless app—the Premier League Soccer app. I scrolled to the bottom of the app where there was a hyperlink to Twitter. Once again, I don’t have Twitter on my phone. I don’t even have a Twitter account anymore. Regardless, when I clicked the link, a window opened up within the app that gave me access to Twitter. From there, I could search any profile I wanted and even get to Google so that I could search all that I wanted. There is no web blocker that could keep a history of what I look at. There was nothing stopping me from getting there. And the kids know how to do this.
   Here is the thing: You can do this on many apps. The kids know how to do this too. So, why do I tell you this? I tell you this to remind you that restrictions are important. Do not neglect restrictions. But, restrictions can’t keep everything out. Kids are so smart with how to work around an app to get to the Internet. As a youth staff, we are constantly hearing about how kids can get around the latest restrictions.
   This is what you need to keep in mind. Merely having restrictions on your child’s phone won’t change their heart. You need to pray that the gospel changes their heart. It’s not enough merely to put up restrictions and never check their phone. You need to be asking them questions and taking up their phone to look at what’s going on. Don’t give them any warning about it. Their conscience is going to be the ultimate restriction. If their conscience isn’t bound by the gospel then they will find a way to get to what their sinful heart wants.

   By the way, don’t forget that they know their friends who don’t have restrictions and they can see things off their phone too.

4. Should I let them have their phone in their room at night?
   Based on what we’ve seen and when kids typically look at pornography, send or receive nude pictures, or send scandalous messages, I would say that it’s not wise to let your child keep their phone in their room at night by themselves. You know your child but make sure you don’t forget that temptation is very powerful and can attack any child. It only takes one image to cause someone to lust. It only takes one suggestive picture, video, or song to send them down a trail hunting for my teasing images that lead to sin.
   Nowadays, students don’t have to ask for nude pictures. In many cases, they just appear in your inbox. It’s crazy, but this is happening and it’s happening with people you least expect it from.
   My advice would be that you take your child’s phone up at night. It not only protects them from temptation but it also helps them rest. I cannot tell you the last student I have come across who tells me that they consistently get 8 hours of sleep at night (which is the minimum of sleep they should be getting at their age). More often, students are getting only 4-6 hours of sleep. Matter of fact, it’s seen as a bragging right to other students if you only sleep 2-4 hours a night! It makes you look like people always want to talk with you or that you work really hard. Taking up your child’s phone at night will help them sleep. Sleep will help them battle against anxiety and despair.
   For many different reasons, take their phone up at night and put it in a place where they can’t just come out of their room to get it. That’s my advice. Whether you do it or not is up to you and we are not to judge. My advice is to think wisely about how to help your child most.

Conclusion

It’s helpful to ask what other parents are doing. It would be good to ask many parents what they’re doing. Don’t try to copy and paste what someone else is doing into your family but think about how those good practices might be applied to where your family is and what they’re going through. Some will be more strict and some will be more relaxed. Be careful when you make judgments. Wrestle with every view, including mine, and figure out if it works for your family or not. The biggest thing is to be thoughtful with your child’s eternal soul. It is not to be taken lightly.

If you have any suggestions or insights, send them my way. I would love to continue the conversation with you. If you think I’m wrong, then please come sharpen me as someone who is trying to help parents out with their children. We need to continue to learn from y’all! We would welcome your feedback on ways in which you think you have done it well and not so well as it comes to technology.

But, remember this: There is grace for failures. All of us are going to fail in this realm. We are not immune to this. You need to remember that even if you failed there is grace and redemption for you. You have to remember this or your failures will bury you with guilt and shame. There is forgiveness, cleansing, and new life in Christ. Run to Him!

Counsel for Pandemic Parenting

April 29, 2020

Biblical Counseling and Training Ministries (BCTM) sent out a helpful article for parents this past week sharing some suggestions about how to process these quarantine weeks and months with our children. I hope it will be an encouragement to you as you seek to continue to raise your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

3 Practical Ways to Help Our Children During COVID-19

by Sara Littlejohn, MAC 
Counselor, BCTM-East MS

It was eleven o’clock on a school night and my 7th grade daughter sat on the edge of my bed sobbing, “It is all just too much!” We were on day two of distance learning and day 20 of social distancing. I crawled up next to her and whispered, “I know, I know, it is all too much for me too!”  I wrapped her up in a hug and told her I wanted her to go to bed and whatever had gone sideways with her day - with her school assignments, with her heart and mind - we were going to evaluate it under the light of a new day. 

There is no prize being handed out to the set of parents who quarantine the best during COVID-19. Some families are genuinely enjoying the extra time with their children at a slower pace of life. Some families are really struggling, feel like they are drowning, and making it through each day is a complete victory. As thoughtful and compassionate believers, we would be wise to give each other an extra ounce of grace to run the full spectrum of parenting emotions during this quarantine.
 
Whether you are living your best quarantine life right now or just surviving this quarantine life, here are a few suggestions that might help your kids process what is going on around them. And if it all feels like it is just too much and you cannot handle one more suggestion, that’s ok! Hug those babies and keep moving forward. 

Find the Heart
Right now our kids are experiencing a broad range of emotions: disappointment, fear, loneliness, exhaustion, confusion, relief, happiness, depression, anxiety and so many more. One helpful thing to do is find a healthy outlet for our kids to express what they are feeling and experiencing.

As parents, we do not like seeing our children anxious, disappointed or sad. But it is very important to invite our children to share with us what they are feeling and experiencing. They are real people, with real feelings and real experiences. And they are carrying all of it around in their tiny bodies. We might assume we know what they are feeling and experiencing, but until we give them the opportunity to tell us, we cannot be certain.

By inviting our children to share with us what they are feeling and experiencing we are directly reflecting how our Heavenly Father invites all of us to share with Him what we are feeling and experiencing.

Inviting our children to share with us what is going on inside of them will look differently for each. Some kids will love to journal their thoughts, feelings and experiences. Some kids will better be able to express their feelings through drawing you a picture, a Play-Doh sculpt or a Lego tower. Some kids will want to sing you a song or even put on a play about how they are feeling. Get creative here! Give them a simple prompt, “Journal, draw, sculpt, build with Legos, sing me a song, or put on a play about how you feel about the Coronavirus.” After they complete the prompt have them explain their project to you to the best of their ability. As a parent, this can be a rich time of uncovering what is going on in their little hearts and minds. Besides helping you understand your children, giving them this kind of opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings in healthy, constructive ways might also keep them from more unhealthy and destructive expressions later on. 

Remember, after you invite your children to share their experiences and feelings with you, you want to respond by thanking them for sharing with you personal and important things. Don’t try to fix their feelings or minimize their feelings. Instead, ask them if there’s anything you can do to love and encourage them right now. Or even better, pray with your children after they share. You can teach them by example how to take those personal experiences and feelings they just shared with you to the Lord. Together, in word and deed, you can boldly approach the throne of grace knowing you serve a God who hears the prayers of his children.

Find a Rhythm
Many of us have undergone a major shift in our schedule and daily routine. We are all searching for something predictable and familiar. Finding a new rhythm will not look the same for every family, but it can be helpful to establish one while we all learn to wait well. 

Some families will benefit from a daily schedule with activities designated for each hour. I would digress in my sanctification if I tried to implement this in our home, but many of my cherished friends and family are thriving in this approach. Some families (like mine) are benefiting from a list of things that need to be accomplished and then going about doing them throughout the day. Regardless of how you find your new rhythm, make it one that is fitting for both you and your children. Don’t try and be a superhero. Be reasonable and keep your expectations on yourself and your kids sane. Remember, no prizes are being handed out for the most beautiful, crafty and organized quarantine. Your new daily rhythm might look like keeping all the people under your roof alive, fed and clothed. Celebrate even these seemingly small accomplishments! 

While the rearrangement of our days can be disillusioning, remember to point your heart and your children’s hearts to a rhythm and a foundation that never shifts beneath us: the God who is our sure foundation and our stability during this time (Isaiah 33:6). He is the God that supplies us every day with our daily bread (Matthew 6:11). He is the God who never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). We cannot promise our children or predict for our children how these next few days, months and years are going to unfold, but we absolutely can point them to the God who holds our every single day. 

Find Hope
It is not a matter of if we are going to blow it as parents during quarantine, but really a matter of when (and how often) we are going to blow it. We are going to lose our patience, say unkind words, be selfish, get frustrated and lose our way. But what an opportunity to practice repentance and humility before our children. If you sin against your child, repent. If your child sins against you, forgive. Isaiah 40:11 reminds us that our Savior gently leads those that are with young. I don’t know about you, but I need a gentle Guide right now. We are with our young a lot right now, and Jesus never stops pouring out His grace and His kindness toward us as we navigate this new terrain. It's alright to admit how confused, upset, irritated, or anxious you are right now - that's exactly why you need a Savior! So put your hope in him, and point your kids toward him (not yourself) for hope as well.

A new day did come for my struggling 7th grade daughter. The sun came up and a new day dawned, and while our troubles did not disappear we were able approach them with new energy. A new day is also going to come for each of us. COVID-19 does not get to write the final chapter of our days and even our lives. Our hope, our children’s hope and the only hope for this broken world is found in the Living Hope that is Jesus Christ. May just an ounce of this hope sprinkle onto our everydays as we seek to gently lead our children as we are gently led by the Good Shepherd himself. 

How to Raise Children in a ‘Be Yourself’ World (The Gospel Coalition)

Here is an interesting excerpt from an article that might bring parents some encouragement amidst the struggle to parent children today:

An advertising poster for vitamins was recently put up near our house. It has the singer Nicole Scherzinger telling me: “How you look and feel comes from within having that inner light. Whatever you do, give it your all and be amazing.”

What you make of that statement may well depend on your age. The older you are, the more likely you’ll smile and think, Uh, no matter how many vitamin supplements I take, I’m unlikely to ever look like a model and pop star. A younger audience, though, will tend to be less cynical and to cheer the sentiment.

We live in a world that tells us endlessly to look within, discover who you are, and be true to yourself. For parents, it can be bewildering how this message has been absorbed by our children. Let me therefore suggest five—admittedly broad-brush—thoughts on helping your teenage kids navigate the modern maze of messages.

Click here for the rest of the article.

Dear Parent, There Is New Hope For You In This Old Song

Martin Luther wrote A Mighty Fortress Is Our God as a reflection on Psalm 46. In this psalm, the psalmist feels terror and trials breathing down his neck. In the midst of threats all around, he hears his Lord say, “Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”

Can you imagine what this psalm meant to Luther amidst his trials, terrors, and threats all around? This is why the hymn A Mighty Fortress still speaks to us in mighty ways in the present day. Particularly, I think it is a great meditation for parents of teenagers in today’s world. With this thought in mind, I’d like to draw out some lessons and hopes for parents who struggle to lead their children during these dark days.

A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never failing; Our helper He, amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing.
What is a fortress? It is a stronghold of defense against your enemies. It is a structure that makes you feel totally safe from the threats outside. Dear Parent, God is your Fortress. He is a bulwark (“a defensive wall”) that never crumbles or cracks. There are no weaknesses in your God. No matter what happens in your child’s life God will never fail you or your child. Though all else seems lost and though the enemy (insert whatever seems most threatening to your child’s salvation and well being) appears like a force so strong that it could bring down the Fortress, we must have faith that our God has stood the test of time.

Dear Parent, He is your Helper. It does not say that God will keep your life free from floods and mortal ills but rather this hymn assumes those things will come at you and your family. The fact is that amidst all of this God is your Helper. We learn to know the “helpfulness” of God amidst our floods of suffering. What is a flood? Picture what Hurricane Katrina did. The waters broke through the levees in New Orleans and spilled over into the whole of the city. Floods know no bounds. They overwhelm anything in its path. The floods of pornography, vaping, drinking, self-righteousness, and worldliness destroy everything in its path until it comes to the foot of our Fortress. God is your Helper. God is your Fortress. Even when it feels like you are drowning, God is the One who will carry you through.

For still our ancient foe doth seek to work us woe; His craft and pow'r are great, and, armed with cruel hate, On earth is not his equal.

Make no mistake about it, the same Serpent in the Garden of Eden in Genesis 3 is the same Serpent slithering around seeking to strike at our youth. Whether through cell phone, Netflix show, peer pressure, or even simply the busyness of life, Satan lurks and prowls around seeking to take someone away from the knowledge of God. Dear Parent, do not try to parent your child without remembering that you have an Enemy. The Dark Lord holds sinners in his dominion. Yes, it is God who is Sovereign over him but God Himself has given sinners over to his dominion. This is a grip that you cannot release. He is too powerful for you. Stop trying to fight his craft, power, and cruel hate with spiritual squirt guns. Imagine trying to stop a bank robber who has a loaded AR-15 assault rifle while you only have a dollar store squirt gun. Good luck. But this is what we can look like when we seek to do battle without the Holy Spirit and His weapons.

Dear Parent, his craft and power are indeed great. How great? Greater than you! Nevertheless, he is no match for the Omnipotent One. The Dark Lord is armed with cruel hate but we worship the God of Love. It is only His Love that can set your child free from whatever bondage they are in. Listen, if you try to parent in a way where you neglect the reality of Satan then you will fail. On earth is not his equal. Luther knew this and you should know it too. He is smarter than you. He is stronger than you. He is quicker than you. You are like a toddler trying to arm wrestle the strongest man in the world. He yawns when you try to defeat him in your own strength. But, he trembles when you pray. His knees are wobbling when He sees you call upon the Fortress. He flees when you resist him by the power of the Holy Spirit. Your children need your prayers more than anything.

And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us, We will not fear, for God hath willed His truth to triumph through us.

Satan has his army. He delegates his demons to do his bidding. Even though your eye does not see, there is a war going on. Spiritual warfare is around every corner. When you relax in war, you get shot. Dear Parent, lurking around every spiritual corner is a war. We must prepare our children for it. A war takes place every time they open social media. A war takes place every time others gossip in the hallway. A war takes place every time their friends pressure them to do something ungodly. The Dark Lord and his army will seek to undo you and your child. This is no time to play Christianity. This is time for the real thing.

Should that make us fear? It should if we didn’t have help. But here is the truth: We do have help! We have the one who has tied Satan onto a leash like a owner leashes a dog. Satan and his army can only do what our God allows them to do. Even then, everything that happens to the believer is for their eternal good! This should not make us relax though. We must reject complacency at all times. Your job, dear parent, is never over. There is no off-season. We must stay in this fight and fight we must but we can have hope. God has willed that He will triumph through us. Think about this hope. You might have a wayward child that seems carried away in sin like a tumbleweed in a tornado. Behold your God! Nothing is outside His Sovereign Power. Regardless of the result, He will triumph through us. That should cause us to pray until our last breath. Dear Parent, your child will be attacked but if they are God’s child then God’s truth will triumph through them. Do not neglect the study of God. Do not neglect the teaching of your children the ways of God. This is no time for half-hearted theology. This is no time for trendy topics. Our children need to see how big God is and how big His gospel is. His truth will triumph. The time to study theology is now. The time to show our children how theology applies to life is now!

The Prince of Darkness grim, we tremble not for him; His rage we can endure, for lo, his doom is sure, One little word shall fell him.

Remember, the Prince of Darkness is no joke. Still, we tremble not for him. Like the wolf chasing the three pigs, eventually the wolf runs out of breath and gets tired. He couldn’t endure. We can resist the devil by the Holy Spirit’s power. The Dark Lord will not endure. God, on the other hand, never tires and never changes. God does not have to put forth energy in being God. He simply is God all the time and never tires of being God. He exercises His power and yet He is never fatigued. He is always applying His wisdom and yet His mind never grows weary. The God who promised that He would crush the head of the Serpent in Genesis 3 is still our God today. The Dark Lord may blow and blow and blow upon your house but he will eventually tire out. Like the three pigs, the question is: What is your house made of? Are you building your home on the foundation of Christ? Are you seeking above all else to show your children Christ? Are you striving to know God and overflow with the knowledge of God onto your children?

There will spiritual assaults upon you and your children. We must teach and train them to endure. We must show them how to fight when anxiety overwhelms them in the middle of the night. We must show them how to fight against lust when someone sends them something inappropriate. We must show them how to fight when the world seeks to change the way they think about sexual ethics. The Prince of Darkness is fighting against them and we must teach our children how to fight back. Are we more concerned with raising up our children to be worldly successful? They must learn to treasure up God’s Word in order to use it.

That word above all earthly pow'rs, no thanks to them, abideth; The Spirit and the gifts are ours through Him Who with us sideth.

Dear Parent, the Word of God never fails. It is above all earthly authorities. When the world sought to destroy the Bible the underground printing press was formed. When the world sought to kill preachers, more were sent out into the world. All men are like grass and their glory is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flower fades but the Word of our God stands forever. Dear Parent, trust this Word! This Word is what your child needs. They need the Word more than they need a good resume. They need the Word more than they need popularity. They need the Word more than they need a good education and a good job. Do you believe this? It is the Word that reaches the heart by the Spirit’s hand. The Spirit transforms us by using the Word in our lives. This is the spiritual power and the heavenly dynamite that will topple our idols and destroy sinful desires.

Not only do you have the Word at your disposal but you also have the Spirit. God Almighty dwells with you! The Spirit and the gifts are yours in Christ. He is on your side! Parenting in a postmodern culture might look impossible. It should. It is impossible. You need the Spirit but do not fear because you have the Spirit if you have Christ. It is He that will guide you. It is He who is stronger than the peer pressures of youth culture. It is He who can give you better guidance than the worldly wisdom floating around. He has sided with you.

Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also; The body they may kill: God's truth abideth still, His kingdom is forever.

Because we have the Spirit we can let goods and kindred go. Dear Parent, do you believe that if your child gained the whole they could still lose their soul? What good would that be? Are we teaching our children to value the world and the things of the world or are we teaching them to lose all for the sake of Christ? Is your parenting motto like Paul’s life motto: To live is Christ and to die is gain?

The culture is constantly tempting you to think that it can satisfy our eternal desires. The new iPhone, the subscription to Netflix, the next post on Instagram, the cool group of kids at school, making that sports team, getting that grade, having that relationship, or developing that success. All these things tempt us and our children to think that the world can satisfy us. We must teach our children that there is One who surpasses it all! There is One of such great worth and value that all the riches of the world are worth throwing out in order that we might know Him.

Dear Parent, do our children see in us such a desire to know God that we wouldn’t be ashamed to die for Him? Do our children see our confidence in God in the face of opposition? Does our faith in our Fortress make our children fearless? It is His kingdom that will forever stand. Dear Parent, do not fear. God will never be conquered nor caught in the hand of the Enemy. His kingdom is undefeated and unstoppable. No matter what threatens your family, you can be sure that nothing will defeat God’s kingdom. This is your hope. This is your God.

6 Ways to Bring Light to Heated Talks with Teenagers

The following article is from William P. Smith:

Every parent I’ve met has felt frustrated by repeatedly stumbling into difficult conversations with their teenage children. Those conversations seem to come out of nowhere, pack lots of energy, and leave everyone bruised and tiptoeing around each other . . .  until the next one.

I suspect hard conversations would take place even if we removed sin from the equation. By definition, teenagers are transitioning out of childhood. They’re figuring out who they are, who they want to be, and how to handle greater independence and responsibility, all while still living in your home. You’re both trying to redefine a relationship that should (rightly) no longer be what it was when they were younger. There’s simply no way you both can navigate this process without at least some bumps and mutual learning along the way.

While there’s no surefire way to guarantee easier, better conversations with your child, there are some things you can do to help them see you as more of an ally than a threat during these defining years.

1. Not everything that goes through your mind should come out of your mouth.

Think before you speak. Proverbs has a lot to say about the words we choose, but it comes down to the wise person being careful with what they say, whereas the fool blurts out whatever comes to mind (Prov. 12:23). If what you’re thinking really does need to be said, you can always bring it up later. If it’s foolish, though, you can’t get it back after it’s left your mouth.

2. Don’t interrupt or talk over your child.

Don’t talk over them any more than you want them to interrupt and talk over you. It’s the law of love: Do to them conversationally as you would have them do to you (Matt. 7:12). Somehow, it’s easy to overlook Christ’s command when speaking to our children—to interact with them in ways we wouldn’t dream of with someone we just met. Imagine your child as someone you respect; then talk to them accordingly.

For the rest of the article, click here.

Don't Waste Your Mind (CCS National Junior Honor Society 2019)

This morning, I had the privilege of speaking at the award ceremony for Christ Covenant’s inductees into the National Junior Honor Society. The audience was made up of upper elementary and middle schoolers plus several of the parents and faculty. This audio is only 11 minutes long which means that you could knock it out on a lunch break or on a car ride. Below the audio, I have included the manuscript that I tried to follow along but (as some of you might laugh at) I went “off script” at some points.

First off, I would like to say thank you to Cheri Creel for asking me to deliver this charge to those of you inducted into the National Junior Honor Society. Secondly, I want to congratulate those of you who are being inducted today and those of you who have been inducted already. Just to give you a fair warning, all of you have already achieved more academic awards than I have and I only know of there being one award which you have achieved.

But, what I do know is that those of you who have been inducted and are being inducted in the Society have done so mainly in two ways: Hard work and thoughtfulness. Interestingly enough, these are two of the biggest qualities that seem to be lacking in the world today. You are growing up in a society that no longer treasures wisdom and discretion but rather places value on what’s trending, following your heart, and finding your own inner peace.

Your generation, Generation Z, is the largest generation in America and in twenty years you will not just be the biggest influences in the country but you will control the ideals and values of the country. This could be tragic because the average teenager spends an average of 9 hours online every day. These 9 hours are not filled with much wisdom and discretion but rather they are filled with things like Fortnite videos, Kylie Jenner’s Instagram, sports highlights, Snapchat pictures, Spotify music, and more group texting than you can keep up with. If you lived for 60 more years and spent only an average of 5 hours online or on technology a day, you would spend 12 and a half years on your technology. If you stayed with the average hours of today then you would spend 24 years on technology. The problem with this is that very little of we look at today adds wisdom or discretion to your life.

Now, why do I say all that? You are all around 10-14 years old right now. The average American lives 78 years. If you lived to the average age, you would only have 65 or so years left. But none of you are guaranteed to live that long. Your clock is ticking and you only have a few years left to live this life before you meet your Maker at your death day. You will have to answer to God on that last day what you did between now and then. God has given you one life to live and that life is meant to be lived for His glory at all times and in all ways.

The fact that you are being inducted into this society shows us that God has given you a mind to think, a work ethic and drive to pursue more knowledge, and a desire to discover truth. What a tragedy it would be to spend 12 years or 24 years of your life wasting away before your phone looking at things that have no eternal value when the God of all glory and beauty and majesty offers you a life to glorify Him in the world He has made.

God created this world. He created your mind. He created your personality. He created the era and culture into which you were born and He purposefully put you in this age at this time for a specific purpose. Your ultimate purpose for being on this earth is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. One of the ways you must pursue this is in the offering of your mind to God.

God has given us right thinking in order to produce right living. He has shown us His glory in the world and in the Word and given us minds to think about each one so that we might live out our purpose in our lifetime. When we waste these gifts that God has given us, we don’t just look bad in front of others. Rather, we reveal in our hearts that we could care less about glorifying God and we would rather ourselves get the glory. The fact that God would even allow you to receive this honor is for the purpose of reminding you that you have the capability and responsibility of pursuing Him with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind. For, we also need to remember this: What does it matter if you gain the entire world and yet lose your soul?

Wasting your academic gifts can happen in several ways. First, you can immerse yourself in all the studies in the world and yet never seek to know God. Second, you can go a little season of your life reading about God and staying in His Word to only then get busy with other things and go on as if your fine because of your past experiences. Third, you can even seek to know everything God says in His Word and yet never submit to Him in your heart. All of these are a tragedy and far too common in the world and the Church today.

Now, why do I say all that in this way? There have been few things that have discouraged me more than to see students grow up in the church and in solid Christian schools to only grow distant from God in high school, abandon the church in college, and deny the faith altogether. It is also a tragedy, and maybe even a bigger tragedy, to see students who have all the mental capabilities in the world and yet to never open their Bibles to dig into the deepest knowledge that the world has ever known.

God has given us logic for the sake of loving God and loving others. God has given us reasoning skills for the sake of rejoicing in His glory and His gospel. God has given us the ability for reflection and meditation for the sake of gazing upon His beauty. The head is meant to serve the heart. There is no subject so beautiful, so amazing, so majestic, so worthwhile, so jaw-dropping, so gripping, so astonishing, and so breathtaking as the good news that Jesus, very God of very God, became just like us in order to take God’s wrath so that we could actually live a life of glorifying and enjoying God. Jesus died so that He could redeem your mind and mental abilities in order to see and savor His infinite worth and glory. If you are a Christian, you don’t only have the entire world open to you to study but you have all of heaven opened up for you to study! Jesus died in order that you might think, meditate on, reflect on, be challenged by, have your worldview shaped by, and become convicted by the glory of God and your life in this world. You were meant for more than binge watching Netflix, endless Instagram scrolling, and Fortnite marathons.

What this world needs now more than ever is a generation of Christians who use their minds to become enamored by the glory of God. We need a generation who have some sense of the infinite weight of the glory of God and the brokenness of their own sin and the grace that is found in Jesus Christ. We need teenagers in this room to be known as people who are influenced by the greatness and majesty and the glory of God as He has revealed Himself in the Bible. We need people who use their minds to think about how God has revealed Himself to us in Jesus Christ and Him crucified. We need people who know how to think about Christ as the universal ruler over all creation. We need humble students who understand what it means to live all of life for the glory of God at all times. We need people who understand the weight of responding to God’s grace in Jesus Christ and that those who don’t respond will have to be banned from His presence forever. We need teenagers who would use their minds above all things to see that the brief little life that they live on this earth will either end in everlasting joy or everlasting pain based on their response to Jesus Christ in His gospel. We need teenagers who will turn this world upside down with the gospel-centered thinking. We need teenagers who will take this gospel into the homes, schools, neighborhoods, churches, and even to foreign countries. We need people who are passionate to use all their mind to pursue knowing God and making Him known.

I challenge you to be this. I challenge you to not take your life lightly. I challenge you to see that even in an award like this God is calling you to a greater life of devotion to Him and for you to go out and call others to devote their lives to HIm. This is what you’ve been made for.

Article: "Technologists...are increasingly wary about exposing their kids to screen time"

I am no technology expert nor am I a cultural expert but merely a mailman delivering documents from the experts. Nevertheless, this is an article, and a topic, that we need to heed. We should never do something just because the masses are doing it as well. How would you react if I suggested the following:

Students should not have a phone until they can drive. OR Students should not have a smartphone until college.

We believe in Christian freedom but can our resolve for Christian freedom with technology actually enslave us? I wonder how many of us, even myself, read the comments of this article and shrink back from it. Here is an excerpt:

Some of the people who built video programs are now horrified by how many places a child can now watch a video.

Asked about limiting screen time for children, Hunter Walk, a venture capitalist who for years directed product for YouTube at Google, sent a photo of a potty training toilet with an iPad attached and wrote: "Hashtag 'products we didn't buy'." Athena Chavarria, who worked as an executive assistant at Facebook and is now at Mark Zuckerberg's philanthropic arm, the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative, said: "I am convinced the devil lives in our phones and is wreaking havoc on our children." Ms Chavarria did not let her children have cellphones until high school, and even now bans phone use in the car and severely limits it at home.

She said she lives by the mantra that the last child in the class to get a phone wins. Her daughter did not get a phone until she started ninth grade.

"Other parents are like, 'Aren't you worried you don't know where your kids are when you can't find them?'," Ms Chavarria said. "And I'm like, 'No, I do not need to know where my kids are every second of the day'." For longtime tech leaders, watching how the tools they built affect their children has felt like a reckoning on their life and work.

For the full article, click here. For a previous post on technology by Caleb Cangelosi, click here.

"6 Ways to Ruin Your Children" by Jeff Robinson (TGC)

The following is a helpful article by pastor Jeff Robinson. Robinson is a Senior Editor for The Gospel Coalition and pastors Christ Fellowship Church in Louisville, Kentucky. Robinson gives us six ways in which we can radically shape our children for the better (or the worse). The following is an excerpt of the article:

Those early days of parenting often involved paralyzing paranoia. Every time his pacifier hit the ground, we’d boil it for 30 minutes. Every time anyone even looked sick at church, we’d keep him home. The first time he projectile-vomited, I was certain he was dying. There were so many questions: Would he ever get over his deep anxiety at the very sight of bathwater? Was that our fault? Would he ever potty train? Did he suffer from numerous permanent phobias? Would his Christology be orthodox?

If you’ve been a parent for very long, you know of what I speak. There’s a lingering fear, a virtual psychosis, that we will permanently ruin our four children. As a father for 16 years now, I’ve come to realize that a germy pacifier or an irrational fear of thunderstorms are not signs of acute parental failure.

But there are ways you can ruin your children—subtle ways that tend to show up over time. As a parent, I’d grade myself at about a C-minus. (My wife is definitely the valedictorian between the two of us.) So here are six ways—all of which I have been guilty—that you could ruin those who bear your last name, who will someday appear on your auto insurance policy.

For the full article and 6 ways, click here.

Passing the Torch: Our Commitment to Teach the Next Generation to Sing the Songs of our Savior

The Music Ministry at Pear Orchard Presbyterian Church exists to lead the saints in their service of worship before God and equip them for kingdom work, utilizing God’s gift of music in obedience to His Word. You may not realize when you joined POPC that you joined our largest choir – the congregation. God’s word commands and exhorts us to sing and make music to Him. He created music and he has given this gift to the church to praise and worship Him. He has given each of us a voice to use to sing to Him and each voice is different. You may or may not think your voice sounds very good, but He loves to hear our voices praising Him just as a father delights to hear his child call him “Daddy.”

How do we as a church steward this gift of God? By fully utilizing it corporately in the worship of God every Lord’s Day and individually in our own lives and families. We invest our time, resources and energy to pass these things along to our children, recognizing that they are the worshipers of the next generation. Children’s choir is one of the means by which we seek to train the next generation to use the gift of music in the worship 6 of God. We recognize that we cannot change our hearts or the hearts of our covenant children, but by the grace of God, we can teach children to use their voices, plant the Word of God in their hearts, and show them what worship looks like. We do this, looking in faith to the Holy Spirit to do His work in their hearts.

The two-fold goal of our children’s choirs is to teach our covenant children what God says about singing and worship and to equip them with the skills to use their voices to participate in worship. This teaching and training of our covenant children is a gift that will serve them well their entire lives. This training could mean the difference in a lifetime of mumbling half-heartedly in the pew or singing whole-heartedly and with skill to the Lord as an act of worship. We pray that the Lord will shape our children into life-long worshippers of Him. What greater desire do any of us have for our children?

You have probably heard the statement that most people who come to Christ do so in childhood. I have my own theory that most people who know how to sing and how best to utilize God’s gift of music in their own lives, learned those skills as a child. In my experience, adults who come to me wanting to learn how to sing, often did not have the privilege of musical training as a child. The good news is that it is never too late to learn to sing! But the most opportune time to learn is in childhood.

You might ask, if God commands and equips, why do we need training? In past generations, people regularly sang and made music together inside and outside the church. Today, we are an entertainment-oriented society with the idea that only professional singers sing. We often judge ourselves and others by a false standard given to us by our culture. But God calls us to active participation. Why? Music is His gift but it is also an effective tool for us in the fight of faith as we war against the world, the devil, and our own flesh. Think of how readily we can recall scripture set to music. Can you think of a time of trial or suffering where the music of the church was used by the Holy Spirit as a powerful tool for encouragement or comfort or even chastisement?

We teach our children that what we believe is important by our actions. One of the great blessings of being in a covenant family is the partnership we experience as we join together to teach and train our covenant children. Let us be ever zealous to utilize the gift of music in worship ourselves and pass it along to the next generation that our Lord may receive glory! “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God” (Colossians 3:16).