Should My Child Have A Phone?

It’s that time of the year again where many parents are asking whether their child should have a phone or not. It needs to be clear that this question falls in the realm of Romans 14 and Christian freedom. My job is not to make your decision. My job is to help you think through certain questions and facts to help you come to your own decision.

I have my own personal opinions but, let’s be honest, I’m sure that by the time I have teenagers that my opinions might change. Also, who knows what the newest technology will be in 15 years? The point of this is to help you think about what a phone does, how necessary is a phone for you child, and what can be accessed through a phone. I will offer some wisdom based on what I have seen other parents do well in and what I have seen that doesn’t work very well. In all this, I am speaking from experience of looking at our own students from close up for 5 years, from looking at another church’s students for 2 years (the church I was at before coming to POPC), and from hearing countless accounts from other youth workers across the country. This is also taking into account the rising stats in youth culture from books such as Jean Twenge’s seminal work iGen. For another helpful article by Jean Twenge, check out “Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?”

The question is not: Are phones bad or good? We also shouldn’t be going to the extreme and never letting them get acquainted with a cell phone. Sooner or later, they will and they need to know how to rule over it (Gen. 1:28). It’s not about saying no to everything in the world. It’s about showing them how to tame the things in the world through a gospel-centered worldview. If we are going to help prepare our kids for college, where they will have complete access to everything, then we need to think wisely about how we prepare them for the use of technology.

Ask Yourself…

1. Is this the right time for my particular child?
   Don’t look at what other kids are doing. Think about your particular child in their particular situation. Your child will certainly give you the “but so-and-so has a phone” speech. Matter of fact, they will most certainly hound you with that speech. You need to hold strong and ask if this is the right time for your child (not what others are doing). You need to ask if this is the right time for this particular child of yours. Are they ready?

2. What kind of phone should they start out with?
   Learning to use a phone is like learning how to build and maintain a fire. It wouldn’t be wise to hand your child a can of gasoline when they’re first learning how to build a fire. Sin is worse than a physical fire and it burns much worse. Kids are getting burned by sin coming by the use of cell phones constantly. It might be wise to start them out slow. Make them earn your trust. Maybe start them out with a “dumb phone”. Maybe start them out with an iPod that can text on Wifi. Figure out what works for you and your family. Plus, it might not be most wise to break the bank buying the latest smartphone. What kind of precedent with that show your child? Speaking from experience, I have seen many students (at several different churches, including ours) fall into grievous sin because their first phone was a smartphone that had no restrictions on it. These kids are not those who grow up in godless homes. They are the kids who have godly parents and care about their children. All kids are totally depraved. Anyone is capable of any sin, including those in godly homes. It is very sad to see students who have hardened their hearts and draw away from the church because of the sin that they indulge in via their cell phones.

3. What restrictions should they have on their phone?
   One night at a session meeting, I was giving a presentation on youth culture to the elders. One elder asked me about phones and what restrictions worked. Another elder then asked, “Should my child have a dumb phone at first?” I decided to answer by giving a visual example.
   In front of the whole session, I opened up my phone for them all to see. I showed them that I didn’t have any Web Browser on my phone. I didn’t have Safari, Google Chrome, or even Covenant Eyes. I didn’t even have access to the App Store to download one of those apps. There is not a single app on my phone that will take you to a Web Browser. So, it seemed.
   I opened up a harmless app—the Premier League Soccer app. I scrolled to the bottom of the app where there was a hyperlink to Twitter. Once again, I don’t have Twitter on my phone. I don’t even have a Twitter account anymore. Regardless, when I clicked the link, a window opened up within the app that gave me access to Twitter. From there, I could search any profile I wanted and even get to Google so that I could search all that I wanted. There is no web blocker that could keep a history of what I look at. There was nothing stopping me from getting there. And the kids know how to do this.
   Here is the thing: You can do this on many apps. The kids know how to do this too. So, why do I tell you this? I tell you this to remind you that restrictions are important. Do not neglect restrictions. But, restrictions can’t keep everything out. Kids are so smart with how to work around an app to get to the Internet. As a youth staff, we are constantly hearing about how kids can get around the latest restrictions.
   This is what you need to keep in mind. Merely having restrictions on your child’s phone won’t change their heart. You need to pray that the gospel changes their heart. It’s not enough merely to put up restrictions and never check their phone. You need to be asking them questions and taking up their phone to look at what’s going on. Don’t give them any warning about it. Their conscience is going to be the ultimate restriction. If their conscience isn’t bound by the gospel then they will find a way to get to what their sinful heart wants.

   By the way, don’t forget that they know their friends who don’t have restrictions and they can see things off their phone too.

4. Should I let them have their phone in their room at night?
   Based on what we’ve seen and when kids typically look at pornography, send or receive nude pictures, or send scandalous messages, I would say that it’s not wise to let your child keep their phone in their room at night by themselves. You know your child but make sure you don’t forget that temptation is very powerful and can attack any child. It only takes one image to cause someone to lust. It only takes one suggestive picture, video, or song to send them down a trail hunting for my teasing images that lead to sin.
   Nowadays, students don’t have to ask for nude pictures. In many cases, they just appear in your inbox. It’s crazy, but this is happening and it’s happening with people you least expect it from.
   My advice would be that you take your child’s phone up at night. It not only protects them from temptation but it also helps them rest. I cannot tell you the last student I have come across who tells me that they consistently get 8 hours of sleep at night (which is the minimum of sleep they should be getting at their age). More often, students are getting only 4-6 hours of sleep. Matter of fact, it’s seen as a bragging right to other students if you only sleep 2-4 hours a night! It makes you look like people always want to talk with you or that you work really hard. Taking up your child’s phone at night will help them sleep. Sleep will help them battle against anxiety and despair.
   For many different reasons, take their phone up at night and put it in a place where they can’t just come out of their room to get it. That’s my advice. Whether you do it or not is up to you and we are not to judge. My advice is to think wisely about how to help your child most.

Conclusion

It’s helpful to ask what other parents are doing. It would be good to ask many parents what they’re doing. Don’t try to copy and paste what someone else is doing into your family but think about how those good practices might be applied to where your family is and what they’re going through. Some will be more strict and some will be more relaxed. Be careful when you make judgments. Wrestle with every view, including mine, and figure out if it works for your family or not. The biggest thing is to be thoughtful with your child’s eternal soul. It is not to be taken lightly.

If you have any suggestions or insights, send them my way. I would love to continue the conversation with you. If you think I’m wrong, then please come sharpen me as someone who is trying to help parents out with their children. We need to continue to learn from y’all! We would welcome your feedback on ways in which you think you have done it well and not so well as it comes to technology.

But, remember this: There is grace for failures. All of us are going to fail in this realm. We are not immune to this. You need to remember that even if you failed there is grace and redemption for you. You have to remember this or your failures will bury you with guilt and shame. There is forgiveness, cleansing, and new life in Christ. Run to Him!

The Invitation of Jesus

The Story of Invitation

God is a God of invitations. Virtually every book of the Bible could be summarized with one command in response to who He is: “Come to God.” The contents of each book either are saying it, implying it, or wanting you to come to the conclusion in light of what was written.

To be sure, when I say invitation, I don’t mean that God is a “take it or leave it” type of God. His invitation is a kingly command. It comes with the highest of authorities. It contains the most wondrous of destinations. It has the utmost aroma of love to it. To reject this invitation is a death sentence. It is an offense to His glory, to His reward, to His grace, to His love, and to Him. Rejecting God’s invitation is rejecting God. It is the epitome of foolishness and wickedness. To accept this invitation is life in the highest sense.

God created with an overflowing invitation for man to have a relationship with Him. He was the One who initiated that relationship. Even immediately after Adam and Eve sinned, God quickly invited them to come to Him for covering. As we trace the story of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, we see that it is God inviting sinners over and over to come to have fellowship with Him even as He draws near to them.

Think of the story of Moses. God initiates the invitation. He sees His people in captivity and bondage and He sends Moses to “invite” them out into the wilderness to live with Him. The story of Joshua is similar. We see a people who don’t have a home. God is still passionate about His invitation for them to come and dwell with Him not merely in a land but in a relationship.

The story of Judges and Ruth shows what inevitably happens to us when we reject such an invitation. Nevertheless, this didn’t take away God’s heart for His people. The story of David, Solomon, and the history of Israel and Judah reveals the same message. God is inviting His people into a covenant relationship with Him. Even when He removes His people from the land there is still a covenant promise in Jeremiah 31 that God has not forsaken His people. Ezra and Nehemiah, Zechariah and Malachi were all calling the people to return to God. It’s an invitation!

Then, it “seemed” as if God didn’t care. Silence filled the prophetic office. The covenant appeared to be nullified. Silence vibrated through the spiritual air. Was God finally tired of inviting His people?

The Inviting God in the Flesh

Here is where we meet Matthew 11:28. Remember who Jesus is. Jesus is the God of the Old Testament in the flesh. He is not a different God. How serious was God about inviting His people into a relationship with Him? He was so serious that the Son took on flesh and was born of the virgin Mary into poverty. In other words, He invited Himself into our world.

He went from the throne to homelessness. He went from a crown of glory to a crown of thorns. He went from unapproachable glory to being spit upon while carrying His cross. In other words, He invited Himself into our world.

It’s this Jesus in Matthew 11:28 who sounds exactly like Isaiah 55:1 when He says, “Come.”

Why does a President, Governor, or Mayor invite someone to a meal or a meeting? Most of the time, it is to get business done or for their own public appearance. The invitation goes to someone who is important or to someone who can further their cause or power. Even if one of these men or women invites someone they don’t agree with, it is still for their political purpose and pursuit of peace.

When is the last time you heard or saw someone in one of these offices pull up in their limousine to a downtown gas station and invite a homeless man to come to eat an extravagant meal? When is the last time you saw someone in one of these offices go to the lowest of the low or the societal reject and ask to be their friend? If this happens once or twice, you might read some heart-warming news stories. If this happens consistently, you will probably begin to be suspicious or get worried about the competency of the person in power.

But, this is exactly what Jesus does. From the moment He started His public ministry, He was constantly inviting poor sinners to come to Him. He was tenaciously tender in His invitations to the worst of the worst. “Come” must have been one of Jesus’ favorite words.

Authoritative and Gracious

The marvelous feature of this invitation is that out of his overwhelming authority (v. 27) Jesus encourages the burdened to come to him because he is “gentle and humble in heart.”

D.A. Carson

Matthew intends to paint the picture of a Jesus who is the King of Kings and also someone who is the most approachable Person in the history of humanity. He wants to show you someone of such unrivaled authority and yet unimaginable grace. It’s this Jesus who we see go from preaching the Sermon on the Mount that leaves people astonished at his authority (7:28-29) to coming down the mountain to touch an unclean leper.

Matter of fact, the leper cautiously comes and kneels down before Jesus and takes a gamble to see if Jesus would be willing to heal him. Jesus meets this man at the location of his unbelief. “Lord, if you will (or, we could make it more clear: “if you are willing”), you can make me clean.” Jesus responds with, “I am willing; be clean.”

Jesus is pulsating with passion for poor sinners. If all you knew was the Old Testament, and you knew it well, then you would immediately identify this Jesus as being someone similar to that same God. Indeed, the Holy Spirit awakens us to show us that He is the same God.

Isn’t this what we see in Isaiah 55:1? “Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.” The same God of Isaiah is the same God here!

Jesus vs Others

Other religions say, “Go and do.” Jesus says, “Stop doing and come.” Other worldviews say, “Do good and then come.” Jesus says, “You are not good and will never be good. Therefore, come to me for I am good.” Even Christians who forget the heart of Jesus fall back into the default works-righteousness mode. They tell themselves, “I must keep up a performance so that Jesus will still accept me.” Jesus says, “You have failed more times than you even know. That’s why you must not stay away from me any longer and come to me.”

When you play the game of Monopoly, there is a “community chest” card you can draw that says, “GO TO JAIL. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.” Jesus is saying something similar. “Come to me. Come directly to me. Do not try to deal with your sins on your own. Do not try to beat yourself up enough over your sin before coming to me. Do not try to go and do enough good deeds before coming to me. Come directly to me. Waste no time in this. Do not linger. Do not hesitate. Do not worry about my response. Come to me.”

You know you’re growing in the Christian life the quicker you run to Jesus when you’re convicted of your sin, when you’re ashamed of your mistakes, and when you’re exhausted from trying to be good enough. Go to Jesus.

He is not saying, “Just come to this worldview.” Or, “just approve these doctrines.” Or, “just be apart of this community.” Or, “just pick up some of this grace.” He is saying, “Come to me.” The destination is Him! In Him, you will find all you need. If you miss Him, you miss everything. Everything outside of Jesus is counterfeit. Jesus is the real thing.

What Makes A Christian A Christian

The reason someone is a Christian is that they have Christ. Romans 5 tells us that our fundamental problem is that we were enemies with God. We were cut off. We were estranged. We were irreconciled.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us… For if while were were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of His Son, much more now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by His life.

Romans 5:6-8, 10

So weak that we could never make it to God. So ungodly that we didn’t even want God. Such sinners that we can’t be in His presence. Such enemies that the very thought of Him made us boil in anger.

This is when Jesus died for us.

But, you also see what happened because Jesus died for us, right? It’s because of Jesus’ death that He bridged the gap. This isn’t a bridge where we are able to come to God on our own power but a bridge where God comes to us! He is so eager to invite us to Him that He comes all the way to us to grab our hands to bring us home with Him.

In high school, one of the most interesting sights was during football and basketball games at half time. The home cheerleaders would almost always run across the field or court, grab the hands of the other cheerleaders and bring them over to their side to have a short time of fellowship with them. This is a picture of the invitation of God to us. He desires to be with us. He desires to bring us to Him. He won’t live without us.

This is the Jesus of Matthew 11:28. Jesus must have been overflowing with love when He said, “Come to me.” It was His most natural invitation.

The Heart of Jesus for You

This is Jesus’ heart for you. It’s an inviting heart, not a stingy heart. He doesn’t give you a spiritual stiff arm but extends His arms as wide as they were extended on the Cross. He is pleading for you to wait no longer. There are no steps before coming to Jesus. The first and only step is to come to Him! This He enables you to do.

If Jesus is truly good, if Jesus is truly wise, if Jesus is truly loving, then if He invites you to Himself He is saying that He is where you find all you need. Jesus would be sinning if He invited you anywhere else. Jesus would be the biggest fool if He told you to go to someone or something else. Jesus would be the most hateful being in all creation if He persuaded you to go to some other destination than Himself. Jesus is who you need.

What Jesus' Earthly Father Teaches Us About "Cancel Culture"

No one is safe. No one can hide their past forever. If you have messed up, everyone will eventually know about it. Whatever you do you better make sure you don’t get on anyone’s bad side so that they don’t dig up your dirt. That’s what our world is telling us right now.

I remember seeing a comment on social media after Alabama Wide Receiver Henry Ruggs ran a stunningly fast 40 yard dash (4.27 seconds!!!). Ruggs had dominated at the NFL Combine to establish himself as a sure top pick in the 2020 NFL Draft. When the news of Ruggs’ time was released, there was one person who posted on social media (very sarcastically I would add) a statement like this:

Well, now it’s time to go back through his entire Twitter history to see what dirt we can pull up on him so that we can make him look like he has questionable character.

This is “Cancel Culture” and this guy nailed it with that summary. Cancel Culture is unraveling society right now. It is highly destructive. In actuality, it is really just a power play by others to get what they want by hanging people’s faults over their heads. This is what Cancel Culture does:

• If someone disagrees with you just go and dig up their dirt and show it to the world.

• If someone has done something wrong make sure you show them no mercy.

• If someone has messed up in the past make sure they live in fear that you might blackmail them.

• If someone has sinned in a way that isn’t socially acceptable make sure they go to the bottom of our society and never influence anyone ever.

• No matter if someone has changed and confessed, destroy them for the one instance they slipped up.

What Happens In Response To A Cancel Culture

It’s no wonder then that iGen is the generation with the most anxiety and depression that we have seen in a long time. It’s no wonder that shame is the most crippling and debilitating sensation in our culture today. It’s no wonder that millions live in fear of “being found out” or being misrepresented. Youth are living in a mental hell every day hoping that their shameful past might not revisit them.

We are at a point in history where we are pulling out our spiritual mircoscopes to find the specks in others eyes and proclaiming them to be unforgivable sins. We are throwing out the proverbial baby with the bath water. If our culture had a self-given name it might be the name from Hosea 1:6 “No Mercy”. It’s not the name of us not receiving mercy from God but rather the name we bestow on ourselves as we relate to each other.

If a forefather was an ardent follower of Christ and yet still had slaves (even if he did treat them well for the most part in that system), we must refuse to let him teach us anything today. If a politician messed up sexually in the past then we must “out” him and tear down his entire life (even if he has confessed and sought forgiveness). If a coach, teacher, pastor, businessman, doctor, writer, celebrity, or whoever has done anything, said anything, or failed to support something then we must start an outrage to ruin their lives. It doesn’t matter what good things they have done. It doesn’t matter what benefits they have brought to our society. If they are not perfect in our eyes then we must shatter them into thousands of irrepairable pieces. Oh, and let’s make sure we get their friends and families and anyone who associates with them as well. We demand perfect. Even in the Church, we demand that our forefathers and foremothers in the faith be more perfect than Jesus Himself (as if that is possible!) or else we will seek to destroy anything they stand for.

It’s not unbelievers alone who do this. Plenty of Christians do this. We do this with politics, sports, denominations, and friendships. We post on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram in hopes that we might add to the destruction of another. Do we realize that God Almighty will judge us for everything we post, repost, and like on social media? His judgment will be even more strict than our culture.

Safe No More

No one is safe. No one is secure. The Internet is your worst enemy. If you messed up in college, you better watch out. If you said something racially insensitive, sexually discriminating, or politically incorrect then you’re essential done for in this society. It doesn’t matter if you’re genuinely sorry. It doesn’t matter if it was 45 years ago. It doesn’t matter if you have repented and changed. It doesn’t matter if the other person has forgiven you. Once you’ve sinned in this country, you’re damned for eternity. Get ready to experience social hell.

If we had a choice, we would create our own pits of despair and round all those people up so that we don’t have to live amongst them or be influenced by them. We would punish them. We would shame them. We would make them look out into our world with jealousy. We would want them to never bring their disease into our culture ever again. Oh wait, that’s what we’re already doing on social media.

No wonder there is a lot of suicide today.

This is what Cancel Culture feels like. Once again, if we’re not careful, we’ll shame ourselves into our very own self-destruction. No one can stand for long under this. This is where an evolutionary worldview has brought us. We should have evolved by now. We should be better. We should be past this. This is 2020 people!

No one wants to remember the fact that we are sinners living in a sinful world. Matter of fact, the only sin is to say that there is such thing as sin.

What Does 1st Century Jerusalem Have To Do With 21st Century America?

What does the Bible have to do with this? Everything.

I heard something phenomenal the other day from RTS professor Miles Van Pelt (I mean, who hasn’t heard something phenomenal from him?). He said something that rocked my world.

You’ll never find closure if you only seek justice. You’ll only find closure if you rest in grace.

If I had a Twitter still, I would tweet that. It’s almost worth it to create a Twitter and just tweet that one thing right now. Did you read that? He said, “You’ll never find closure if you only seek justice. You’ll only find closure if you rest in grace.”

Right now, our culture has gotten rid of all grace and mercy. There is only justice and wrath.

Listen. Justice is crucial. Let’s make no mistake about that. Justice is central to a society and it’s central to Christianity. Justice is an attribute of God. God would not be God if He were not just. But, justice is not the only thing we receive. Justice is not the only attribute of God. Grace is what we receive. Grace is what we need.

Can I just say something? What our country needs most is the grace of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We are fools if we think our country is Christian. We are fools if we think our churches know enough of the gospel (let alone our country). What our churches and country needs most is the grace of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We don’t need less gospel; we need more gospel.

So, where do we see this grace in the Bible that might apply to the Cancel Culture?

Jesus’ Earthly Father

In Matthew 1:19, we find something absolutely stunning. I’ve read over this portion of Scripture hundreds of times. I’ve never seen what I just saw. Thanks to Roy Ciampa in Devotions on the Greek New Testament: 52 Reflections to Inspire & Instruct, I saw the light in a dark world.

And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.

Matthew 1:19

This verse is not necessarily a verse you tell your kids to memorize. It’s not the verse you might post as your “Verse of the Day” post. It’s not the verse you would get framed or put on your Christmas cards. It’s probably not the choice text for you if you had to teach a Bible study. Let me tell you something. There is more light in this one verse than there is in 10,000 Suns. Let me show you.

Joseph thought Mary had broken their engagement by sinning sexually. We now know that she obviously didn’t and Joseph would soon realize that too. But, there was a point when he looked at her pregnant belly and was heart broken that she had an affair. After all, virgin births are not a natural event! It required a miracle for the Son of God to come into this world! If she was pregnant and he wasn’t the one who slept with her then it must’ve been another man.

Joseph was torn over this. He was heart broken, ashamed, anxious, and in despair. Some of you might know this pain. But, here is the thing about Joseph. He was a just man (lit. “being righteous”). So, what would a righteous man (who obviously cares deeply about justice) do in the face of someone committing great sin against him?

To be sure, I am not saying that Mary wasn’t a virgin. I am not saying that Mary slept with someone else. We are only looking at this through the experience of Joseph before he received word from the angel (v20-25) that Mary was going to be the virgin who would fulfill the prophecy of Isaiah 7:14.

Responding To Sin With Righteous Compassion

How would righteous Joseph respond in the face of such heinous sin? I know what our culture would do. Our culture would put on a shame show. They would parade her sin and guilt on Twitter, Instagram, Tik Tok, and Facebook. Late night talk show hosts would include her in their jokes. She would turn into a “meme” of shame. Some Christians would unfortunately wag their heads at her as if she weren’t a Christian at all. “If she was really a Christian then she would’ve never put herself in that situation.”

If Mary lived in the U.S. today and eventually decided to run for a political office, her childhood friends who didn’t agree with her political views would find her medical records and show them off to the world like she is the worst human walking since Adolf Hitler.

How was righteous Joseph going to respond? Well, we can see more clearly how he might when we look at the next phrase. Joseph was righteous and unwilling to put her to shame. Joseph didn’t have two opposing qualities in himself that were fighting over what to do in this situation. There wasn’t the “good angel and bad angel” or the “righteous angel and the compassionate angel” on either shoulder whispering to him what he should do. “Should I do what would be culturally acceptable during these times and make it publicly known to the proper Jewish and Romans authorities? Should I write her off and start a campaign to have her removed from the Temple? Should I expose what she has done to everyone I know so that all might shame her with me? Or, should I have mercy on her? Should I keep it quiet? Should I not divulge that information?”

Joseph was not playing the either/or game. Actually, what this text is saying is that because Joseph was righteous he was also unwilling to put her to shame. It’s not about whether to show justice or compassion but rather to show justice and compassion.

To say it another way, Joseph shows his righteousness as he shows compassion for her.

The present participle (“being a just man”) indicates not that he had been righteous but (now) thought of acting unrighteously in this instance, but rather he was righteous even as he decided on his plan of action.

-Roy Ciampa

***With my emphasis to make the wording a little more clear.***

What is Ciampa saying? He is saying that the Bible is saying that because Joseph was righteous he was also compassionate. And look at the context. Joseph thought that Mary had sinned greatly! And what did this righteous man decide to do in the face of great sin? He decided not to put her to shame but rather to show her compassion.

The Gospel of Justice and Grace

My friends, this is the gospel. This is what Jesus does to us. In the face of such horrendous sin and betrayal against the King of Glory, He came to earth and died in our place out of compassion. Jesus didn’t “cancel” us. He came to us. He had compassion on us.

The gospel of Matthew seeks to transform our understanding of the true nature of righteousness in light of its redefinition by Jesus and by Matthew’s telling of his story. In this gospel it becomes clear that for Jesus (and Matthew), mercy and compassion are not at odds with righteousness, but are crucial marks of righteousness, just as they are in the Old Testament. Jesus demands not the same righteousness as the scribes and Pharisees but a greater righteousness (5:20), one that will lead his disciples to show mercy to the least of his brothers (25:34-40). Jesus emphasized the theme of Hosea 6:6 [that] God prefers mercy over sacrifice (Matt. 9:13; 12:7), and he demonstrated what that preference looks like by befriending tax collectors and sinners. His sacrifice on the cross is about extending mercy to us sinners rather than leaving us to our own destruction.

-Roy Ciampa

This is what Joseph is doing. In the face of great sin, he is acting righteously! He is pressing into righteous living. He is living out what Jesus would live out. He is imaging God the Redeemer. That is why he decided to treat her with dignity, love, compassion, and grace. He cared about justice and grace and he realized that justice and grace are not rivals but best friends.

How This Could Change Our Culture

People are dying for hope. Everyone has sinned. Everyone has baggage. Everyone has said horrible things. Everyone has treated someone in unspeakable ways. No one is exempt. Was Paul not clear enough about this in Romans 3:10-12 when he said:

None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.

The people who do the most shaming tend to have a lot of shame. The people who point out the specks in others eyes tend to have logs in their own. We’re all truly depraved and soaked in sin. When we forget that we get into these spiritual shame shows so that we can make ourselves feel better.

Here is where the gospel comes in. The gospel says that we are worse than we could ever dare admit and yet more loved than we could ever imagine. This gospel is a gospel of grace and righteousness. Jesus didn’t sacrifice justice in order to give us grace. He gave us grace through justice. He went to the Cross to absorb the wrath we deserved for our sins so that we might receive grace and compassion. That is how we can have spiritual closure.

Repentant Sinners In Heaven

Our country, believers and unbelievers, are holding their breaths hoping that maybe they can just make it to the end of their lives without their worst mistakes being exposed. We mentally and emotionally murder others a thousand times over whenever we hold their sin over their heads. We destroy them time and time again whenever we don’t accept someone’s confession or genuine repentance. We sever all hopes of change whenever we fail to celebrate the work of change that the Holy Spirit has done in us.

Did we forget that former sinners will be in heaven? Jesus came for the sick sinners and not for the healthy self-righteous ones. There will be former racists and rapists in heaven. There will be former sexual abusers and drug abusers in heaven. There will be former slave traders in heaven. There will be former Nazis and Neo-Nazis in heaven. There will be former murderers, drunks, hookers, atheists, homosexuals, liars, cheaters, swindlers, and anarchists who will be in heaven. There are scores of people who once lived this way who have now found life and grace in Jesus Christ. He took their wrath. He dealt with their sin. Who in the world are we to shame them with what they repent from?

They are not only being sanctified right now but they will be so glorified that even those in heaven who were victims of their sinful lifestyle on earth will see so much beauty in them because of the work of the Holy Spirit within. The bond of joy and friendship between former enemies will be stronger than any friendship on this earth. This is what Jesus does to saved sinners.

We need Christians who proclaim this gospel. This country is DYING for hope. Don’t believe me? Just any youth you know who have been through or have had friends go through these social shame fests whenever they fail in the smallest way. Just go into our schools and ask middle and high schools students what their biggest fears are. Just read literature of youth culture and see the staggering stats and interviews that talk about this issue.

We can learn a lot from Joseph here. We need to learn a lot. Only grace can transform us. Only Jesus can make us new by the power of the Spirit.

Spiritual Warfare: When Satan Wants Your To Re-Live Your Past

One of the most common ways in which the dark lord attacks sinners in Christ is by making them re-live their past mistakes. He does this by bringing up memories (which we will discuss how he does so later) and tempts them to be entrapped by these memories like a caged animal. His tactics are to bring up an event or memory in which the saint-sinner is reminded of some particular sin that they have committed or even that which has been committed against them.

In the case of those who have sinned, the dark lord will tempt you to re-live the event as if you are on trial. He recruits you to be his co-prosecutor against your own soul. He paints God in such a picture as if He is a ruthless judge who is not yet quite finished with you and your past. If you have done something wrong, he will plague you with some thoughts of:

1. No hope for grace

2. Guilt for presuming upon God’s forgiveness

3. Others finding out and wanting to publicly deal with you so as to shame you

4. God’s discipline hanging over your head to strike at you when you least expect it; this discipline doesn’t look like loving fatherly discipline (Heb. 12:7-11), it looks like condemnation.

5. That you have committed an unforgivable sin. It may not be the unforgivable sin but he will paint it in such a way that it seems like no man could recover a relationship with God after such an act.

6. Your past makes you unusable to God in the Great Commission

7. You should never feel at ease until you have paid your penalty

By re-living your past, the dark lord wants to keep you from forgetting what lies behind (Phil. 3:13-14). He wants to keep you from remembering what your current identity is in Christ (Rom. 6). He wants to keep you from living by faith (Gal. 2:20). He wants to keep you from rising up from the depths of despair to go out in the peace of knowing your faith has saved you (Lk. 7:50). 

What Re-Living the Past Does

He wants you to be trapped by the past. He wants you to dwell on your sin. Dwelling on sin causes you to skip out on seeing your Savior. He knows that the longer you dwell upon the glory of Jesus Christ that you will become more like Him (2 Cor. 3:18) and, therefore, more able to tear down his armies and thwart his tactics. You must remember that this is war! There is no neutral ground. There is never any “no man’s land”. As long as you are on this earth, the dark lord and his forces will seek you out. 

He will pull up a specific memory from your past and until you defeat him there he will continue to hound you with that thought. “Am I innocent? Did I really do that? If this went public, what would people think? Is God going to ‘get me back’ for this? Have I really dealt with this sin as I should?” But be sure, once you have fought off that one memory, he will bring up another.

When you realize that you have sinned (however greatly but especially in those times of great sin), the dark lord will show you more of your depravity than you have ever realized before. He will make you feel as if you are the epitome of sin. He will make you feel as if no one has a more evil, darkened, and hardened heart like you. You are an abnormal sinner. You are a hopeless sinner. You are a graceless sinner. 

He will tempt you to think that no other Christians have sinned this way in the past and even if they did they dealt with it far better than you have. Before they went to heaven (if they were going to get to heaven), they went back and fixed everything! The dark lord will tell you “You have depended too much on the free forgiveness of Jesus and haven’t quite turned over every stone to truly repent of this. What you need to do”, the dark lord wants you to think, “is to go back and split every hair to make sure you get the justice you deserve. Your repentance from such acts and thoughts are not enough. Your seeking others for help is not enough. No matter how small, you must announce it to the world so that they can put you on trial because the courtroom of Christ is only a heavenly reality. God will never set you free until you go through the earthly courtroom.”

When Satan Pinpoints the Memory

When you look back on such an event and you realize that you have not sinned in such a way, the dark lord will tempt you to think that your thoughts of the past aren’t accurate. He will try to take things out of context and blow them out of proportion. “You forgot about this part of it. You forgot how it hurt the other person greatly. You forgot how much it offended the glory of Christ.” He will make you ask plenty of “what if” questions. Here is the thing about this, no matter how many of those “what if” questions you answer accurately and honestly there will always be more “what if” questions to come. Often times, the dark lord will only use the knowledge that you have against you for the next “what if”. What is required here is to see that this is not of God. We must call this for what it is. This is a satanic attack!

When you look back on such an event and you realize that you have sinned greatly, he will pester you. He will pinpoint his full attack upon this one spot. It is the one crack in the armor that he will keep throwing his forces at. He is like a boxer who finds the one weak spot on his opponent and he will beat you into submission by hammering that one spot. He will darken your view of the cross. He will cause you to lose all sight of forgiveness. He will make your sin much bigger than your Savior. He will grip your thought life with such force it feels as if you can never escape. It will feel more real than the very moment in which you are living. Anything that reminds you of anything remotely similar to that memory will feel like spiritual PTSD. He will fire a thousand arrows at that area of your hurt conscience. If He cannot take away your salvation, He will certainly try to take away your experience of it.

How To Fight By Faith

When you read the Bible, especially when Jesus deals with such horrible sinners with such terrible pasts, do you see our Lord (the One who hates sin more than anyone!) treating people this way? Do you hear Him giving the command for His little lambs to turn over every stone in their past until all their sin is acknowledged to the full and dealt with on this earth? Do you hear Him say, “Fix this in your past first and then you may experience my grace”? Does He who is gentle and lowly in heart (Mt. 11:28-30) seem like the type of Savior who would hound such tender souls who are overloaded by the crushing yoke of their past? Would He really be the summun bonum (Latin for “the highest good”) if He tortured His saints with their past? Why would anyone want to go from living a life where they do everything to forget their past sins to go to a “savior” who would hound them for the rest of their lives on this earth with their past? Is this freedom? Is this love? Is this forgiveness?

We must not let the dark lord determine our Christology. We must remember the study that B.B. Warfield undertook when he sought to determine the emotion that was most attached to Christ in the Scriptures. “The emotion which we should naturally expect of finding most frequently attributed to that Jesus whose whole life was a mission of mercy, and whose ministry was so marked by deeds of beneficence that it was summed up in the memory of his followers as a going through the land ‘doing good’ (Acts. xi. 38), is no doubt ‘compassion.’ In point of fact, this is the emotion which is most frequently attributed to him.” 

Does this mean that Christ doesn’t deal with our past that needs to be dealt with? No. Does this mean that Christ doesn’t call us to repent of all sin? No. It means that when He deals with our past and when He calls us to repent that He is first and foremost compassionate when He goes about it. He is not harsh, rough, and domineering. He desires us to leave our past in the past so that we might live by faith in the present. He knows that the past can entrap us in a dungeon of despair (similar to what Christian in Pilgrim’s Progress was entrapped in). He wants to boost our faith. 

How Does Christ Treat Us?

Listen, when Christ convicts us, not condemns us, we will know it. It is of a much more pure way. See how He approach Peter after He had risen from the dead (Jn. 21:15-19). Notice how He approached all the disciples after they all betrayed Him (Jn. 20:19-29). If He really wants you to deal with something, He will enable you to deal with it. He will not rub your nose in it. He will show you the grace, love, mercy, and forgiveness that you have in Him the entire time. He has dealt with our sins. You must fight to remember that this involves all of your past. 

When Christ died on the cross and rose for your justification, He meant it. In other words, He did not neglect anything. He knows it all and it’s for the past event, that past event, that He died. He wants to forgive. He desires to cleanse you. 

Are there some things from our past that we must deal with if they are left undone? Yes, but when He deals with you it is much more pastoral than the dark lord. There are many times in which things are too far gone and He desires for us to move on. It would be an act of unbelief were we to tell Jesus, “Just wait right here for a second so that I can go back and do something. Then I will follow you.” 

He places your eyes upon Him more than your past. But, once He deals with our past, He does not make us keep re-hashing it. God is not “historical” with us in that He brings up our past time and time again. Matter of fact, He bids us time and time again to go on an live in light of our full forgiveness in Christ:

1. Luke 7:50 And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

2. Mark 5:34 "Daughter," said Jesus, "your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be free of your affliction."

3. Luke 17:19 And he said to him, “Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.”

4. Philippians 3:13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead

Biblical Reflection and Application

Was David supposed to re-live his memory of sleeping with Bathsheba and killing Uriah over and over even after he heard of God’s forgiveness from Nathan? Did Jesus come to Peter after He had risen from the dead and did He rub Peter’s nose in his denying Jesus three times? Was Paul to always dwell on the fact that he endorsed the stoning of Stephen? Was Jacob to keep thinking about the countless lies he told in the past? Was Sarah to remind Abraham over and over about the two times that he told others that she was his sister? Was Moses to be haunted by the Egyptian he killed or of his striking the rock? What kind of salvation would this be?

 We must remember that it is more of an act of faith and more honoring to our Lord when we forget what lies behind and press forward in faith. We need to realize that this is a great danger to our souls if we think we cannot rest in the blood of Christ but rather need to seek atonement another way. After all, when we seek to re-live our past we are hoping that we are either guiltless or we try to figure out how we can atone for our sins. Either way, that is avoiding the Cross.

Now, to be sure, there are some who can use these truths to their own sinister advantage to run away from their sin. They can use it as a “get out of jail free” card. Those souls must deal with the Lord and He will be sure to deal with them. But, these truths are for those who aren’t running away from Jesus. They want Him. They want to be free from their sins.

God Of Our Future

God promises us a future (Jer. 29:11). One piece of the fruit of the Spirit is peace, not torment (Gal. 5:22). The Christian is at peace with God (Rom. 5:1). Sin no longer has dominion over us (Rom. 6:14). There is no more condemnation for us in Christ (Rom. 8:1). The Spirit bears witness in us that we are children of God (Rom. 8:12-17). He doesn’t torture us with regret and shame from the past. For freedom Christ set us free; we must stand firm and never again take upon us the yoke of slavery (Gal. 5:1). 

Jesus always approaches people seeing their potential future in Him (Jn. 1:42, 47; Mt. 4:20). Even when He does remind someone of their past (such as the Samaritan woman in John 4), He always does so in order to quickly bring them to the source of grace. Do you really think sinners and tax collectors would flock to be with Him (Matt. 9:10; Luke 15:1) if He only reminded them time and time again of their constant failures and gave them no hope?

Jesus is far greater than we can ever imagine! Do not let those attacks from the dark lord change the reality of the heart of Christ (Mt. 11:28-30). Do not assume the worst or most harsh motives of Christ. The dark lord always tries to make himself look more gentle, loving, gracious, and approachable than Jesus. He wants to paint Jesus in rough colors. He wants you to say to yourself, “Why would I continue with Jesus if this is what life with Him is like?”

One Of The Most Convicting Blog Posts I've Ever Read

My wife finds great blog posts from other people that I miss throughout the week. This very well might be a gift from the Lord because she often finds articles and blogs that are spot-on for what I am looking for.

While preparing to preach from Romans 14-16 in a couple of weeks I have been looking into the topic of peacemaking in the church. As this is on the horizon, my wife sent me a blog post from Kevin DeYoung that perfectly fits the bill for what I was looking for. The title of the blog post is “Distinguishing Marks of a Quarrelsome Person”. The following are some of the marks that are included on DeYoung’s list of 12.

1. You defend every conviction with the same degree of intensity. There are no secondary or tertiary issues. Everything is primary. You’ve never met a hill you wouldn’t die on.

2. You are quick to speak and slow to listen. You rarely ask questions and when you do it is to accuse or to continue prosecuting your case. You are not looking to learn, you are looking to defend, dominate, and destroy.

4. You are incapable of seeing nuances, and you do not believe in qualifying statements. Everything in life is black and white without any gray.

7. You are unable to sympathize with your opponents. You forget that sinners are also sufferers. You lose the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.

8. Your first instinct is to criticize; your last instinct is to encourage. Quarrelsome people almost always see others in need of rebuke, rarely in need of refreshing.

11. You are always in the trenches with hand grenades strapped to your chest, never in the cafeteria with ice cream and ping pong. I remember years ago talking to a returning serviceman in my church who told me sheepishly that his job in Iraq was to drive an armed convoy for the ice cream truck. It was extremely dangerous, escorting the vehicle through bomb infested territory. This was brave, honorable work. And important: Even soldiers need ice cream once in a while. The amp doesn’t have to be cranked to 11 all the time. Seriousness about God is not the same as pathological seriousness about everything. Remember G. K. Chesterton: “We have to feel the universe at once as an ogre’s castle, to be stormed, and yet as our own cottage, to which we can return to at evening.”

This article is a fabulous and convicting read but certainly, one that will rightly humble us. For the full article, click here.

The Dangers of Messy Christianity

The following is a brief excerpt from a helpful article that my wife sent me earlier today.

There’s a recent trend in American Christianity to speak of spiritual life as messy.

We’re sinful, broken people, this view argues, and even in our redeemed and reconciled condition we make mistakes that affect our and others’ lives. The messiness is pervasive, constant, and unrelenting. There’s no hope for the eradication of sin this side of Christ’s return, so the best we can do is embrace the mess and encourage one another to keep wading through the mire. The Christian life is a series of messes with a few mountaintops in between.

No doubt, this description is often used with honorable motives. We want to express humility and provide solidarity and support for our struggling brothers and sisters or new Christians—as we should. But there’s something about describing the process of sanctification only as “messy” that seems a little off. It’s certainly true that believers struggle with sin, pain, failure, and turmoil. I continue to wrestle with those things and more, so there’s a sense in which sanctification is messy. I definitely feel that myself.

Yet I also realize that Jesus didn’t die so we could live a merely messy Christian life. His desire isn’t for us to simply hop from crisis to crisis, doomed to failure, discouragement, and depression this side of glory. The gospel is more about joyful transformation than messy complacency.

If we’re not careful, a merely messy Christianity fails to do justice to a biblical view of the Christian life in at least three ways.

For the full article, click here.

Elizabeth Holmes and Our Need For Repentance

If you have found yourself in a conversation with me in the past two weeks, there’s a good chance I’ve brought up the Elizabeth Holmes, Theranos story. After listening to an 11 hour audiobook and a six episode podcast about her rise and fall in silicon valley, I’ve asked myself why I’m so intrigued by this story. If you haven’t listened to me ramble on about it and you’re asking yourself, “Who in the world is Elizabeth Holmes?” here’s a quick summary:

Elizabeth Holmes, Theranos' founder and CEO, dropped out of Stanford University at age 19 to launch Theranos in 2003 as a cheaper, more efficient alternative to traditional blood testing. After serious allegations about the legitimacy of the company’s technology, Theranos’ valuation of $9 billion collapsed, and Holmes along with a former COO were indicted on federal fraud charges in June 2018. The podcast (The Dropout) and book (Bad Blood) seek to tell the story of Elizabeth’s demise through first hand accounts of former employees, investors, and journalists.

Now, I’m about to ask something from you. Instead of hearing this story and thinking, “Wow what a shame someone could go to such great lengths just for money and fame,” I want you to ask yourself, “In what areas of my life am I like Elizabeth Holmes?”

Sin has a sneaky way of revealing itself to us when we have gone much too far than we ever intended. The World, The Flesh, and The Devil want us to think we are doing just fine until suddenly we are in uncharted waters wondering how we got so far from shore. Listening to Elizabeth’s story has made me reflect on where she went wrong, and how we can apply steps in our lives to keep our souls from going where we never intended on going in the first place.

1) You cannot serve two masters - Elizabeth’s technology was a healthcare device that would give blood test results. The catch was, it never worked consistently well, and she knew it. In some very real instances, this caused patients to take medical care steps for illnesses they didn’t even have. Elizabeth put the money she would gain from partners and investors before the lives of patients.

We cannot serve God and money (Matt 6:24) just like she could not serve money and patients. The Bible makes this so clear through several parables spoken by Jesus (Luke 16:13). We must rely on the Lord for our provision and sustenance - our daily bread (Matt 6:11). When we serve money over God, we are serving an idol made in the image of man. When have you treated others in a sinful way because the stake of money was in the balance?

2) Put yourself around others who will hold you accountable - Elizabeth ran a company of 700 employees including scientists and researchers who were working on her technology. There was very high turnover of employees. Why? When someone would question the product or the process of the technology, they were fired. If someone suggested the quality control was skewed, they were fired. She didn’t want to hear someone tell her she was running her business unethically. Elizabeth may not be facing criminal charges today if she took some of these critiques to heart and slowed down the roll out of her devices to stores.

We must not run away from loving and wise rebuke (1 John 1:8-10). When we only surround ourselves with friends who “only lift us up and ‘support’ us” and not those who love us too much to leave us in our sin, we are not pursuing holiness and will find ourselves in very deep sinful patterns before we realize they even started.

Elizabeth convinced herself, along with many others, that she was doing a revolutionary work for humanity while in reality she was lying about the legitimacy of her device in order to keep cash flowing. Have you sought a seemingly good end through self-justified sinful behavior? Have you closed off relationships that convicted you about a certain sinful behavior?

3) We must have a repentant heart - Elizabeth still hasn’t pleaded guilty to defrauding investors. According to a former employee, he saw Elizabeth this past January and she didn’t apologize or even act like there was a wrong doing on her end for his firing. It is also alleged she is pursuing another technology venture while she is still on trial for her time at Theranos.

When we see our sin, it is the grace of God and the Holy Spirit that gives us eyes to see and brings us to our knees with a contrite heart (again, see 1 John 1:8-10). When we have this posture, we can come to the ones we’ve hurt and ask for forgiveness (Matt 6:14-15). We can do this because we have seen that we have fallen so short of the glory of God, yet he still pursues a relationship with us and still covers us with his mercy. This allows us to battle our sin patterns and have freedom from them - the freedom you can only receive through being In Christ (Rom 8:1).

It is one thing if we sin and then quickly come to the Lord through repentance, but it is another thing if we live in a perpetual sinful pattern with no returning to the Lord with a contrite heart. Is there something in your life that you are living in sinful bondage to? Have you sinned against God and others and have yet to reconcile either? Do not hope that time will fix all, but run to the cross where mercy is given.

So what was Elizabeth missing that we could be missing too?

What draws many of us to stories like Elizabeth’s is that we think this could never happen to us. That we are so separated from this story that it is entertainment. We may never defraud investors of upwards of 700 million dollars in our lifetime, but we may slip into a sin pattern that leaves irreparable damage to relationships, jobs, or even the view of all Christians to others. But lift up your faces, there is good news for us and even for Elizabeth Holmes if the Holy Spirit lifts the veil from over her eyes:
No matter how small or big our sin may feel or look, God is Bigger. God is Sovereign. God is Merciful. God is Just. He has known before time every sin you will ever commit, and Jesus paid for every bit of it on the Cross (John 19:30). He knew you intimately before the beginning of time, and still chose to love you like He loves his perfect son (Eph 1:11). Will you take this love over Money? Over Power? Over an Affair? Over Comfort?