Wilson Van Hooser

How Much Are Teens Bullied On Social Media?

There is no doubt that students are facing a world of trials in today’s world but one of the more common trials is the presence of bullying on social media. I have learned more and more about the presence of bullying on social media the more I have heard from our students. To be sure, we need to constantly ask our children about their presence on social media. Much of the social lives of youth today happen on the Internet which is hidden from plain sight of parents and mentors. The following is a brief excerpt of this article from The Atlantic:

No app is more integral to teens’ social lives than Instagram. While Millennials relied on Facebook to navigate high school and college, connect with friends, and express themselves online, Gen Z’s networks exist almost entirely on Instagram. According to a recent study by the Pew Research Center, 72 percent of teens use the platform, which now has more than 1 billion monthly users. Instagram allows teens to chat with people they know, meet new people, stay in touch with friends from camp or sports, and bond by sharing photos or having discussions.

But when those friendships go south, the app can become a portal of pain. According to a recent Pew survey, 59 percent of teens have been bullied online, and according to a 2017 survey conducted by Ditch the Label, a nonprofit anti-bullying group, more than one in five 12-to-20-year-olds experience bullying specifically on Instagram. “Instagram is a good place sometimes,” said Riley, a 14-year-old who, like most kids in this story, asked to be referred to by her first name only, “but there’s a lot of drama, bullying, and gossip to go along with it.”

Teenagers have always been cruel to one another. But Instagram provides a uniquely powerful set of tools to do so. The velocity and size of the distribution mechanism allow rude comments or harassing images to go viral within hours. Like Twitter, Instagram makes it easy to set up new, anonymous profiles, which can be used specifically for trolling. Most importantly, many interactions on the app are hidden from the watchful eyes of parents and teachers, many of whom don’t understand the platform’s intricacies.  

For the full article, click here.

New Resource: RYM Student Podcast

Our very own John Perritt has launched a new podcast for RYM aimed at students. Parents and mentors can use this resource to listen to with their kids, small groups can use this to launch into a good discussion, and students can listen to it in the car on the way to and from school. These short podcasts will answer such questions as:

  • Who is Jesus?

  • What has Jesus done for us?

  • What is my purpose in life?

  • What is mercy?

  • What is the Bible?

  • How do I know God?

For more information and to listen to the podcasts, click here.

Youth Culture (October 2018)

The following is a greater list of links to articles and blog posts about Youth Culture for the month of October. Each month, I do my best to send out an email to parents about what is going on in youth culture. In order for the emails to be shorter and more concise, I am adding a more exhaustive list to the blog so that they can be more accessible.

The following are articles that are concerned with the trends and opinions of youth culture at the moment. Not every article is a endorsement of opinion but rather there will be several statements in many that I disagree with. The point for this list is NOT to promote a certain opinion (which other blog posts are for) but rather to give you a feel for what is going on in our children’s lives and their culture. This is to promote further discussion in our church body about how the gospel can change our children and their culture.

"6 Ways to Ruin Your Children" by Jeff Robinson (TGC)

The following is a helpful article by pastor Jeff Robinson. Robinson is a Senior Editor for The Gospel Coalition and pastors Christ Fellowship Church in Louisville, Kentucky. Robinson gives us six ways in which we can radically shape our children for the better (or the worse). The following is an excerpt of the article:

Those early days of parenting often involved paralyzing paranoia. Every time his pacifier hit the ground, we’d boil it for 30 minutes. Every time anyone even looked sick at church, we’d keep him home. The first time he projectile-vomited, I was certain he was dying. There were so many questions: Would he ever get over his deep anxiety at the very sight of bathwater? Was that our fault? Would he ever potty train? Did he suffer from numerous permanent phobias? Would his Christology be orthodox?

If you’ve been a parent for very long, you know of what I speak. There’s a lingering fear, a virtual psychosis, that we will permanently ruin our four children. As a father for 16 years now, I’ve come to realize that a germy pacifier or an irrational fear of thunderstorms are not signs of acute parental failure.

But there are ways you can ruin your children—subtle ways that tend to show up over time. As a parent, I’d grade myself at about a C-minus. (My wife is definitely the valedictorian between the two of us.) So here are six ways—all of which I have been guilty—that you could ruin those who bear your last name, who will someday appear on your auto insurance policy.

For the full article and 6 ways, click here.

Quick Thoughts: Prayer

I am going to begin a series of short blog posts on various subjects of the Christian Life. My goal is to give you some short, concise answers to basic, and often forgotten, questions to these various subjects. Lord willing, this will help us come back to a basic understanding of why we do certain things, to what end, and simply how to do them. In this first post on “Quick Thoughts”, I want to address the topic of Prayer. So, Ladies and Gentlemen, here we go:

  1. What is prayer? Prayer is the breath of a soul that is alive to God; if we are alive unto we pray. Prayer is overflow of the heart to the God who cares for you. Prayer is the cry of a dependent child for a powerful and sufficient Father who desires to provide abundantly for His children. Prayer is when we bow, not simply in posture but in the heart, to the one true God who hears us when we call out to Him in the name of Jesus. Prayer is the burden that the Holy Spirit places in the Christian in order that they might live unto God. Simply put, prayer is voicing adoration, confession of sin, thanksgivings, and needs of all kind to the Almighty God. Prayer is not speaking to the open sky or talking to ourselves in hope that someone somewhere with some omnipotence might hear us. Prayer is addressing God in faith that He hears, responds, and gives us what we need. Prayer is the response of the heart of faith to the promises given to us in Christ. Prayer happens after we read the Scriptures. It is when we read the Word of God that we then respond to Him. True prayer happens after reading the Word. John 15:7 says, “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” Matthew 6:6 tells us, “But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” Again we see in Luke 11:9, “And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

  2. Why pray? Prayer is the heart of dependence on God. We see the curse of sin manifest itself in our pursuit for independence. In our pursuit of independence, we are like a flower trying to live without roots. We are like a newborn baby refusing her mother. We pray when we realize that we need help. God created man in order to live in dependence upon Him and this dependence was part of what was good in the Garden of Eden when there was no sin. Prayer brings us back to who we were meant to be—creatures living in dependence upon their Creator. Prayer brings joy to the saddened soul. Prayer brings hope in the face of despair. Prayer brings intimacy when loneliness prevails in the world. Why pray? Because in prayer we draw near to God. Maybe the question could be restated this way: Why draw near to God? Prayer, at its core, is the sinner drawing near to God in Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit with the confidence that this Triune God will satisfy my deepest longings. Prayer is not calling out to a genie in order to be satisfied merely in what he gives me. The goal of prayer is to have God Himself as my chief joy. Jeremiah 33:3 says, “Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” 2 Chronicles 7:14 also says, “If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”

  3. To whom do we pray? Primarily, the model that Jesus gives us is to pray to the Father but certainly the entire Trinity is always involved. Matthew 6:9 begins, “Pray then like this: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.’” Jesus came to reveal the Father to us and to bring us to the Father by His person and work. We certainly pray, and should pray, to Jesus Himself and to the Holy Spirit. All persons of the Trinity are equal yet distinct—nevertheless, they are One God, not three. It is a helpful reminder that Jesus tells us to primarily address the person of the Father.

  4. In what manner should we pray? We should pray with reverence and awe. Let us beware of beginning prayer flippantly with, “Hey God!” Let us also, even, think more of beginning prayer more so with the thought of our Father being Holy. It is the knowledge that we have of God that drives how we pray. Let us not forget that our God is a consuming fire and that He is Holy, Holy, Holy. If the beginning of knowledge is the fear of the LORD (Prov 1:7) then let us not abandon the beginning of knowledge with that activity which we should attend to most in the Christian life. We must have confidence to draw near to the throne of grace but that throne of grace never extinguishes the attribute of God’s Holiness. The throne of grace should give the weakest child boldness and joy to approach his heavenly Father in prayer but that child must still remember that God is God. Confidence in Christ and Fear of the LORD are not butting heads in prayer like two brothers fighting over the last chocolate chip cookie. Neither one is competing against the other but rather they work together like how salt can enhance the taste of the sugar on a chocolate chip cookie (can you tell what I’m craving for a snack right now?). Prayer should be in dependent fear and love for God. Whenever God showed people His glory in a more manifest way they fell down. Even when Peter recognized who Jesus was in the boat he fell down and asked to be away from His presence. Yes, they loved God and God loved them but this love of God is so holy that it should bring us redeemed sinners to our knees in humility and fear of the heart. God is the One who runs towards us and we should run towards Him but this never negates His Holiness and Majesty.

  5. What should we pray for? Let us take an inventory of our prayers individually and corporately. What percentage of our prayer requests primarily focus on the bodily and physical needs and how much focus on the needs of the soul? To be clear, we are made up of body AND soul. The needs of the body are real and constant. We must pray for the physical needs around us but we must not ONLY pray for the physical needs around us. It does not make someone “extra spiritual” if they never pray for physical needs. Rather, one might question that person’s understanding of the image of God. Nevertheless, we can say the same for those who neglect the matters of the soul.

    When we have a prayer meeting, how often do we pray for the following: conversion, revival, growth in holiness, richer devotional lives, patience, love for others, understanding of the Scriptures, more of a desire to pray, zeal for evangelism, protection against false teachers, more earnestness to repent of the idols of the heart? Are we so earthly minded that we totally neglect the primary need for sinners to have faith and repentance? Our prayer requests, as an individual and as a congregation, will reflect the priorities of our hearts. Do we only pray for the physical because we want life to be comfortable? Brothers and sisters, we must pray for the things that concern the body but never at the expense of praying for souls to be saved from the eternal wrath of God, for exponential growth in holiness amidst an evil age, greater fruit of the Holy Spirit, richer community in the church, and certainly (although one of the most neglected) the need for true God-centered revival. We must pray for the preaching of the Word as much as we pray for safe travels. We must pray for the lost in our neighborhoods as much as we pray for the healing of the body. We must pray for endurance amidst persecution as much as we pray for good grades, politics, injuries, upcoming tests and meetings, healthy children, and the other often brought up items (which are NEVER too small to pray for).

    Please hear me, our lack of praying for the small things shows our misunderstanding of a God so sovereign and caring that He notices the way ants work and lilies grow. We must also understand that our lack of praying for the Holy Spirit to powerfully attend the preaching of the Word every week shows our great misunderstanding that our greatest need is to hear the words of the gospel of God by the power of the Spirit and that if we do not hear then it matters not if we gain the entire world because we will lose our soul. Pray for all things, body and soul (for both are important), but what a grave danger we fall into when we never pray for the soul.

  6. When should we pray? Maybe a better question could be: When can we pray? We can pray at all times. Paul says, “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess 5:17). We can pray before we eat and we can pray before surgery. We can pray in the middle of having a tough conversation with someone and we can pray while putting our children to bed. We can pray in business meetings and we can pray during a commercial break. We can and should pray at all times for that is what a praying life is. It is not literally only praying at all times but rather it is having a life of communication with God throughout the day. We should pray much spontaneously (for God does hear and loves these prayers) but we should never neglect the practice of “still” prayer. What I mean is that we must set aside some times in order to be still and know that the LORD is God. In our busy times, this might be the most neglected and the most needed spiritual discipline. We should put things to rest, turn over our phones and silence them, gather our thoughts and lift up our concerns to God. Leave the busyness of life for a period of time and come before the LORD to find rest. Find this time in the morning before the kids get up, first thing when you walk in the office, on your walks, when you put the kids down for a nap, before bed, or during lunch (don’t forget that it was in 19th Century that New York had a true Spirit-sent revival all surrounding the lunch time prayer meeting). You will not find time unless you make time. If prayer is the breathing of the soul that is alive unto God then prayerlessness is the evidence of the soul that wants to commit spiritual suicide or the evidence of the soul that is not alive in the first place. Let us not fool ourselves here: Christians pray. Some pray more than others and that makes no one more special and loved by God more than others. Beware: those who think that prayer earns their righteousness before God are in danger for their soul. But let us not fool ourselves, especially in our Southern context, that we can believe the gospel and not pray. Indeed, what is the first movement of the redeemed sinner towards God but that of prayer? The Spirit produces living water in the soul of the man or woman, and church, that is alive unto God. Water that flows into any pipe system must find its way out or the pipes will burst. If there is not water exiting the pipes and no bursting of the pipes then there is no flowing water.

  7. What are some practical ways to develop a life of prayer? This could be an endless list but maybe some of these suggestions will help or spur on some thoughts to other ideas:

    1. During devotions, prayer before starting and pray after finishing.

    2. Take a car ride a day to turn off the radio in order to pray.

    3. Pause to pray between meetings, classes, assignments, chores.

    4. Designate a prayer “station” or a prayer “closet” so that there can be a regular place in which you pause to only pray.

    5. Set your alarm clock for 15 minutes earlier. As you wait for the coffee to finish brewing, open your Bible and pray a certain Psalm.

    6. Don’t neglect praying before meals. Let it remind you and those around you that greater tastes and satisfactions are in the Lord.

    7. Pray with your spouse and/or children before bed.

    8. Read good books on prayer. Here are some very helpful ones:

      1. Tim Keller “Prayer”

      2. David Mathis “Habits of Grace”

      3. John Bunyan “Prayer”

      4. Michael Reeves “Enjoy your prayer life”

      5. Andrew Murray “With Christ in the School of Prayer”

      6. Banner of Truth “Valley of Vision”

    9. Keep a list on your phone or notebook of things to pray for.

    10. Keep a journal that records the answers to prayer.

    11. Read prayers (such as Valley of Vision)

    12. Sing prayers. Remember, the greatest hymns were often first prayers.

    13. Put reminders on your phone or calendar. Schedule your prayer time.

    14. Pick a prayer partner.

    15. Attend evening worship where we pray as a congregation after voicing the needs around us.

    16. Start a prayer meeting (not a prayer request meeting or a Bible study about prayer where you only briefly pray at the end) where you actually spend the majority of the time praying.

    17. Remember, there are no prayer professionals. This often hinders people from praying.

    18. The Spirit is wise enough to sort out your jumbled thoughts so do not be afraid to pray for things as they come to mind.

    19. Remind yourself of the promises of God—primarily the promise that He hears you.

    20. Read good stories and books on revival. Revival is never separated from prayer.

How Porn Affects Missions

As a church that sends, supports, and prays for several missionaries, it is worth asking the following: Does pornography affect the mission field? Is the widespread use of pornography “sidelining” potential missionaries (and even local missions in our neighborhood)? Greg Handley, church planter and writer for the International Mission Board, seeks to address this question in his article. The following is an excerpt:

I know the statistics point to how pornography isn’t merely a male problem. I understand, but I also have worked among young men enough to know this problem has reached epidemic proportions. Years ago, John Piper coined that paradigm-shifting statement about missions in Let the Nations Be Glad: “Missions exists because worship doesn’t.” Among young, Christian men who don’t show concern for the nations, I’ve come to wonder if it could be said that porn lurks where missions doesn’t.

Here is my plea to porn-strugglers: not merely for your sake, for their sake—for the unreached nations of the world—get help. Pornography sidelines you when the nations need you. I want to help you realize the soul-conditioning effect of pornography in a way you may not have seen it before, particularly as it relates to missions. My aim is for this brief article to be a healing wound that sets a new trajectory in your pursuit of purity.

For the rest of the short article, click here.

Are Selfies Really Harmful?

A fellow youth worker in Mississippi sent me this article earlier this week about selfies. Naturally, I had my gracious wife read me "the important parts" so that I could digest it on my own in quicker time. Even from her brief skims and my bad listening, this was a confirmation of what we already knew. 

The following is a brief part of the conclusion to the study about selfie and young women. "This is the first study to show experimentally that selfie posting on social media is harmful in terms of young women’s mood and self-image. Being able to retouch or modify their photo did not result in women feeling better about themselves after posting a selfie to social media. Future research should look at the longer-term effects of posting photos of oneself on social media, which is an increasingly common aspect of contemporary media use."

Read the about the study here. Warning: this is not for the weary readers (aka it's long but you can skim it for the "good stuff").

Dear POPC, May I Encourage You?

It has been two full years since my wife and I arrived in Jackson, Mississippi, after spending the previous academic year in the greater Boston area during my first year of seminary at Gordon-Conwell. We came to Pear Orchard not just because of a job but because of the reputation of the church community. We went through a little bit of a tough season in Boston and what we desired most was to find spiritual refreshment in the means of grace among a loving and welcoming congregation. After two years, we have realized that we have found that in Pear Orchard.

One of the aspects that tend to stand out in Christians who believe in a robust and Reformed, biblical doctrine of sin is that of conviction. We are skilled in the art of finding out what is wrong about us. Yes, there are many ways in which we do not realize the extent in which our hearts are deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9), but there is certainly a solid belief in the need to feel conviction. This often leads us to reflect critically and thoughtfully on how we do as a church. Are we welcoming to our visitors or are we stand-off-ish? Do we go out of our way to have deeper conversations with fringe attendees or do we stick to the typical, "How are you doing? I'm doing just fine; how about you?" type conversations?

I have heard many comments that sound like the following:

"We need to make sure we do _______ better."

"What we're really missing at POPC is _____."

"I think we are really slacking off in [insert this aspect of the church]."

While these are very helpful and needful reflections that we need to have as a congregation, we also need to remember to bring up that which we are doing well. It might be easier for me to do because of the fact that my wife and I are still relatively new to the Jackson-Ridgeland area. Although I surely consider this church "home", I also think I can still give helpful feedback as a newer member. There are plenty of times that Paul encourages his congregations as he writes to them. In his fantastic book, "The Heart is the Target," Murray Capill writes about the importance of encouraging people in our sermons and not merely exhorting, teaching, and convicting them. After commenting that "the greatest aid to progress is genuine encouragement," Capill says:

"If we take our lead from Paul, then, we will at times tell our congregation how much we love them and how we miss them when we are away; we will tell them of how encouraged we are by their gospel work and how thankful we are for their ministry; we will tell them about what we pray for them; we will tell them of ways in which we see them as wonderful examples to others; we will publicly praise God for them and for his work of grace among them."

So please, let me encourage you.

The moment that we stepped into the doors of POPC, the pastoral staff and congregation have bestowed upon us the type of hospitality that only grace-filled believers could exhibit. You did not know us or our families. We did not go to Mississippi State, Ole Miss, Mississippi College, or [insert you college here] with any of you but you took us in as if we were closer than friends, as if we were family in Christ. We are not from Jackson or Mississippi but you welcomed us as citizens of a greater land. We came in as total strangers seeking refuge in Christ with a like-minded community.

We have been blown away at the frequent invitations from you for meals, Bible studies, and community. There have been gifts to help us move into Jackson and get settled in. There have been texts, calls, and emails that have encouraged us. There have been jokes, hugs, and prayers for us when we needed them. One would think that maybe this was merely a temporary welcome to us POPC and to the Jackson area, but we would find out over time that this was not the case. 

It seems to be that there is real fruit of the Spirit here at POPC. Genuine fruit is tested whenever visitors become members and regulars. Ever since we have become members and regulars, there has been no shortage in the amount of outreach that you have extended to us. There has been no "They have had enough of our love" attitude among you. Rather than your love having a big, bright, but short flame, your love to us has only steadily grown towards us. We do not feel like we have been kept at arms length but rather have been brought in as a father brings us his newborn child. 

Dear Pear Orchard, we have seen your love, your grace, your fervor, and your desire to grow. We have witnessed your zeal to welcome visitors. We have noticed your urgency to reflect the kingdom of heaven in its diversity. We hope you see them as well.

As an athlete who has been through two surgeries to repair bones and ligaments, it is often very difficult to see your own progression. Often times, it is the physical therapists and the surgeons who notice it in more detail as they examine you. I hope this is a helpful and encouraging perspective for you.

Do not lose your zeal. Do not fail to extend bread to the hungry. Do not give up on the wayward. Do not desert your prayer closets. Do not close your Bibles. Keep going. You are bearing fruit whether you realize it or not. Grace and I are not the only ones who notice your fruit. Often times when I am at the seminary, on youth retreats, or at conferences, we are not the only ones who brag about you but rather your reputation has extended further than we go and the people we meet praise God because of you. So please, keep standing out as Christians - people who love others in the name of Jesus. 

Coming to Jackson has been fresh balm to our souls. It has been cold water after a hot season. We have both been strengthened in the call to ministry and certainly the call to minister at POPC. Love begets love and that has certainly been the case here. Today is an age where we shy away from others when things get messy. We live as if others' mess is red paint and we only wear white shirts. You have witnessed our mess and have embraced us in response. We have been counseled, fed, taught, mentored, helped, supported, prayed for, and taken in. 

We are blessed to minister the gospel to you and be ministered to by you. Hebrews 10:24-25 says, "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." Let us keep this as our motto. Let it be a banner for us in the days to come. 

Dear Pear Orchard, please be encouraged that the Holy Spirit is at work in you.

Should Kids Have a Smartphone?

The following video is a re-post from The Gospel Coalition website that features Russell Moore, Scott Sauls (PCA), and Trevin Wax in a discussion about whether Christian parents should give their children a smartphone. These discussions can help us think about things that we normally do not think about and help us come to our own wise conclusions about what is most fitting for our children.