April 1, 2022
I've been reading the book of Numbers recently in my times of private worship. It's always been one of my favorite books of the Bible since it's the source of my name, and the God-centered description of Caleb the son of Jephunneh in 14:24 has been my aspiration from my youth: "But My servant Caleb, because he has had a different spirit and has followed Me fully, I will bring into the land which he entered [as a spy]..." (it wasn't until 10th grade that I realized what my name meant, however - when I introduced myself on the first day of class to my French teacher, an Italian lady named Mrs. Bassioni, she immediately called me her "Dog Jealous Dog" - Caleb means "Dog" in Hebrew—both in the sense of the animal, and by derivation, in the sense of "faithful one"—and Cangelosi means "Jealous Dog" in Italian...). In my reading of this fourth book of Moses this go around, I've been reminded again at how many times the children of Israel grumbled and complained with impatience and frustration with the Lord's timing and His provision.
The occasion in Numbers 21:4-5 is striking: "[T]he people became impatient because of the journey. And they spoke against God and Moses, 'Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and we loathe this miserable food.'" So often, our grumbling is not merely impatient frustration that God has not provided what we want when we want it, but discontentment with what He has in fact provided. Complaining and grumbling are sins that are often evident for everyone to see (so that when they are not present in our lives, we show ourselves "to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom we appear as lights in the world," Philippians 2:15). They can even sometimes be respectable sins - doesn't every one have something to complain about? But they also be can be secret sins that no one else sees. Yet the Lord always sees our grumbling, for it is ultimately against Him - for He is the wise and sovereign disposer of our life, and in love He gives us what He knows we need when He knows we need it, whether we will acknowledge it or not.
The Christian life is a life of waiting on God. And as we wait, we are called to trust Him. As you read through the Psalms you will see this note sounded throughout. David's confidence in Psalm 27 is glorious: "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord." Yet waiting is hard. Patience is not natural to us as sinners. We think we know better than God what is best for us. But still, God calls on us to wait on Him. Though He can be slow, He is never late.
The Lord's Supper, which we celebrate this Sunday, is a reminder that we are called to a life of waiting, for we are always waiting for our Savior to come again. And because He knows how hard it is to wait, He has given us this appetizer of a covenant meal, so that as often as we eat and drink we might have our desires for His coming renewed, and He might satisfy our hearts with Himself while we wait. He is the holy manna, the bread of life that came down from heaven, so that we might live. And just as Moses lifted up the bronze serpent in the wilderness, so that the complaining Israelites who had been bitten by the serpents sent in judgment could look at it and live rather than die, so on the cross Jesus was lifted up, so that all who look to Him in faith might be saved from the consequences of their sin (see Numbers 21:6ff.; John 3:14).
According to the divine instructions in I Corinthians 11:27-29, examine yourself as you come to the Lord's table. And when your heart convicts you of complaining and grumbling, when you realize that you have been impatient and discontented, when in your selfishness and pride you demand more from God than He has chosen to give you, look to Jesus and live. If you look in faith to the sinless substitute, He will free you from the guilt and power of this subtle and seductive sin. For even as the Israelites looked to that which had been their curse, so we look to Jesus, who became a curse for us on the cross. He took our sin upon Himself so that we might be rescued from sin. As you wait on Him to come again and bring the fullness of our redemption on the last day, walk in faith and patience, in confidence and trust, in repentance and godly sorrow, in holiness and joy.